Today I saw this quote on Instagram.
"The Bible says that, 'he that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.' It does not say he who finds a girlfriend who he begins to date, who he then gives a ring, who he then proposes to and then gets married to. You're not a wife when I marry you - you're a wife when I find you. You become MY wife when I marry you. Wife is not a ring, it's the presence of a devoted heart. Wife is not a title, it's a statement of your character. If you want a husband, carry yourself like a wife, otherwise you'll have the spirit of girlfriend and little boys will play with you." -John Gray
Not a week ago I was having breakfast with who I call my mentor and she was telling me something very similar. She said that you become a wife before you ever get married. Being married doesn't make you a wife and you can become a great wife before you ever say I do.
But how do I become a wife without a husband? You ask. Easy. MARRY JESUS CHRIST! Too many women call themselves Christians but don't understand the values of being a Godly wife. But you want a Godly man? Who loves the Lord? Who treats you well? Who loves you like Christ loves the church? But you don't even carry yourself in holiness and honor?
You think you can submit to, respect and love unconditionally a fickle man on this earth when you aren't even fully devoted to God? Sorry, sister, that's not gonna work.
You need PRACTICE. Before you go on and ruin a marriage. You need to become as much like Christ as you possibly can, because all marriage is going to do is EXPOSE YOU in the areas you think you can hide. You think you can hide from your friends and family and church members. You think you can put on a half hearted facade that you are whole in Christ so that you can get you a man. I got news for you, honey, what's done in the dark WILL come to the light. You will not magically become this pure, pristine, faithful, submissive woman with a servant heart and hands that can cook on your wedding day. It's pretty impossible. NOW is the time to COMMIT TO CHRIST and begin to sow into your life and your future. Especially if you're called to be a wife and a mother.
The Bible simply states that God will not be mocked, you WILL reap whatever you may sow (Gal 6). If you sow the fruit of the spirit now, you will reap it in your marriage and in your children. If you sow the works of the flesh...well...there you go.
And let's not forget what they are...
19 The acts of the flesh are OBIVIOUS: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21 NIV emphasis added)
I don't know about you, but I don't have time for this trash in my marriage or my household period. You must divorce yourself from the world's ideologies. Many of these things are NORMAL in your circles and maybe even in your life. I'm telling you now, get set free from it all. You have your eyes set on marriage or on some amazing man of God who you've already dubbed your 'future husband' and you are already sowing seeds of discord and jealousy and impurity that will surely work its way into that marriage you so desire.
And then you'll have the NERVE to turn around and say some mess like "I don't know how this is happening?! I thought I married a MAN OF GOD!"
NEWSFLASH: Who you married is not the issue; because everywhere you go THERE YOU ARE.
If you can't love the perfect man, Father of heaven and earth who made the stars and died and rose again for you, you will never muster up the power to love a man who will fail you constantly. If you learn to draw your love from Jesus, it can truly be unconditional.
Being a woman of God is truly seeking God with all you've got for no other reason that to get as much Jesus as possible! Yes there are things in life that draw us closer to God, but be careful to not desire anything or anyone more than you desire His glory.
LEARN while you can to submit to the perfect man so that when it comes time to submit to an amazing man that God places in your life it will be pure joy to serve Him because you've already found joy in serving your husband, Jesus.
I'm not married or even in a relationship, nor have I ever been. But I am fully devoted and the bride of Christ who gives all wisdom. You don't have to gain wisdom about marriage by going into one unprepared and learning from costly mistakes. Yes, you'll make mistakes, but make it easier on yourself. Read the Bible. It has EVERYTHING!!! Seriously.
Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what in you needs to be weeded out so that you can become the wife and mother God wants you to be. That's whether you are single or married. Let Jesus search your heart and devote yourself to being a great wife to Jesus and when it is time He will bless you with one of His sons to love, serve and respect.
