Leave. Me. Alone. No, really. A-LONE. By Myself.

 

I've got something to say.

Today I was watching a syndicated talk show, The Real. This show has five hostesses. One is completely single, three are married, one is in a long term relationship. Loni, the single woman, read a letter from a fan today that was my LIFE in their segment called "Girl Chat."

Here's the link to the video. It's about 3 minutes if you want to watch it.

The letter from the fan talked about how she is single and perfectly fine with it; but around the holidays especially, all of her friends and family stay trying to hook her up with EVERYBODY and she is just sick of it.

Loni completely agrees with the woman, because she is a single woman who enjoys her single life and doesn't see herself being married any time soon. The other women on the panel however, seem to have a hard time understanding why she is so content.

How many of us live this EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! It's like everyone in the world wants to remind you that you're single! No matter what you are doing with your life or what you've accomplished people continuously fight for you to believe that things truly aren't complete without a mate.

"Oh I have a Master's Degree!" "That's great! When are you getting married, girl?!"
 *side eye*

"Oh I just planted my first church!"
"Wow! Congrats! That's amazing! When you gon' get a first lady thought?!"
 *siiiiiiddddeee EYE*

"Hey! I just indicted Darren Wilson!!!"
"Oh, for real? That's amazing! When you getting a man, tho?"

For real? It's seriously like that when you're single in this world! And I'm like, bro, CHIIIILLLL!!! I am FINE!!! No, I wasn't lonely until you told me I should be! I wasn't thinking about no man until you reminded me that I don't have one!

So this is a crying out to all you happy relationship people, over zealous parents, nosy co-workers, and braggy older siblings: LEAVE US ALONE!!!

Let me tell you a story, if you didn't notice, there is a lot of work to be done in this world. Souls need saving, rights need to be fought for, justice needs to be served, and the gospel needs to preached. Therefore, if I'm about my Father's business, I am in His will. If I am in His will, then He will make my paths straight. And if a beautiful 6'2' black man who loves the Lord and hates injustice is in that straight path and God sees fit for us to become one, I guarantee God is ABLE! But, tell me WHY, I'm preaching to YOU about MY single season? Please, in the most respectful way, GET SOME BUSINESS! We ALL need to be busy doing God's work because we are His ambassadors sent to reconcile people to Him. God needs single people whose hearts aren't divided yet! (1 Cor 7)

Dear Grandma, Mama, Uncle Ray Ray, Aunt Billie Jean, random girl at work, we love you, we truly truly do; but please, for the sake of our contentment, leave. us. alone. We like to be left alone. We want it to be just us and Jesus. (For now) And there is nothing WRONG with being ALONE!!!

Jesus quite often left the crowd to be alone.

Paul preached the gospel for three years alone before he met up with other apostles. Not to mention he was single his entire life.

It is true that most of us are called to marriage. It is also true that God is taking us through different seasons and preparations for marriage. And it's also true that not everything is about marriage! Can I just be alone? Pay my own rent? Wash my own dishes that I bought? Go home and feed nobody but myself? Let me enjoy it! Find something else to complain about and leave me alone!

Most of us want to get married one day, but why is our contentment in this single season so upsetting to you when the Bible tells us to be content! I'm trying to not awaken love until it's time. I'm trying to leave holy. And the best way you can help me is to leave me alone. Talk about anything else, but that.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
A Frustrated, Content Single Person

Is God your Source or your Last Resort?

A lot of us who are Christians fail to take inventory of what's going on inside of us. We get so caught up in routine and just life that we don't sit before JESUS and allow Him to transform is DAILY. Yes, DAILY. 

See. Some of us thought that once we got saved the transforming was over. But no. This is a day by day thing until we meet Jesus face to face.

So when was the last time you did something differently? When was the last time you allowed the Holy Spirit to correct you?

This is what we are going to do today. We are going to examine our actions to see if we truly are living like Jesus intended. No, we aren't perfect. And no, we won't get it all right. But, yes, we will intentionally say NO to ungodliness and pursue Jesus. 

So I wanna know this: do you go to God on every decision? Do you seek Him at every turn? Do you consult the Word when you are confronted with a situation? Is JESUS the VERY EPICENTER of your being? Does He HOLD you TOGETHER? If not, who does? If you don't go to the Word when someone makes you mad, who or what do you consult? If when making a decision on who to date or what job to take you don't seek God's plan, whose plan are you seeking? Your mothers? Your own? The worlds idea of what your life should be like? When you get into it with your husband who are you inquiring of about your marriage? About your children? Who do you act like when you have a bad day? The old you? Or Jesus? 

These are all questions I ask because David asked them. He said search my heart, O God! See if there be ANY offensive way in me! And LEAD me in the way of the EVERLASTING! (Psalm 139) (And yes Psalm 139 talks about more than how fearfully and wonderfully made you are!!!!)

Too many of us are going in the way of the short term fix. We want it quick and dirty. We don't prefer the way of everlasting because it requires too much of us! But we must seek and go in the way of the Lord. You call yourself His daughter, His son, right? Then act like it. 

We need to re-center. Reposition ourselves. We have gotten too comfortable doing things the worlds way again. It's time to reel it back in. Get the slack out of our line to the voice of God and seek and obey Him at every turn.

So take inventory today. Get out a piece of paper or a journal and THINK. For once stop just reacting to everything around you! Your instincts are not the way God desires to handle everything. Stick to the Word for guidance and the Holy Spirit for counsel. Let God be your SOURCE and don't just go to Him when you're in trouble. Don't wait until you're in trouble! Go to Him NOW. Right now!

The song says, He's waiting on you. He knows just what to do.

A Good Man is Hard to Find???

Let me tell you a story...

I was at church yesterday and the Exhorter preached from Proverbs 31:10. As long as I've been a woman I've heard this scripture preached to me.

"You are worth MORE than rubies!"
"Know your worth!"
"Live like you are worth more than rubies!"

And that is a very valuable message.

But what caught my attention yesterday, and I believe for the very first time, was the beginning of that verse.

Who can find a virtuous woman?

The preacher said that men are looking for virtuous women. GOD is looking for virtuous women!

And I thought, Hmmmm. We always complaining saying 'a good man is hard to find' but the Bible says a good WOMAN is hard to find!'

So, let me say this, women are constantly complaining that they cannot find a good man. Well I know why. BECAUSE YOU AIN'T A GOOD WOMAN!!!

First of all, if you were that virtuous woman you would understand that it is not your job to look but to be found.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, since WHEN have you EVA, EVA, yes, EVAAAAA, read or heard about the TREASURE uncovering itself and going to find the pirate?!! You haven't. And you won't. Because when something is valuable, people will come looking for it! STAY COVERED!!! The Bible says that the life we once lived is HIDDEN in Christ! (Col 3) Some of y'all trying to come out of hiding far too soon. My admonishment to you is to stay HIDDEN in Christ, because, honey, you look much better covered in His blood than you ever will flashing your broken self.

Second of all, you and me and the rest are so worried about what kind of man we need in order to not get hurt again that we refuse to see our flaws. We focus so much on the "I'm worth more than rubies" that we stay spiritually and mentally immature. We steady engaging in gossip and drama. We so worried about getting a man that when we do we will have no idea how to KEEP HIM!!! All that drama, nagging, gossip, and childish jealousy will run that man crazy. The way you acting now will bring hell into that marriage you praying so hard for. Yes, know your worth, but act like it! As Exhorter Jones said yesterday, we have to learn to operate FAR ABOVE because that is what we are worth.

Third of all, like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. It is so important to dialogue about discretion in this time. During this new feminist movement, women everywhere are louder and looser than ever. And I say that to our shame. We begging God for a man forgetting than when we get him we are commanded to submit to him but refuse to practice submission and class now. We are to be a CROWN on our husband's head. Who wants to wear a loud, audacious crown? Or a crown that is easily lusted after because of it's flashiness? We need to learn to be classy women who will compliment our husbands and future husbands, not overtake them with our "personality."

Let me tell you something, I am loud. My personality is overly friendly, sarcastic, and doesn't mind attention. My personality does not exempt me from pursuing a gentle and quiet spirit. But that's a different blog. All I'm saying is act like you got some sense. Stop constantly talking over people, interrupting them, eating with your mouth wide open. Cross your legs, cover up, stop telling your business to everybody and, for the sake of the gospel, stop telling everybody else's business too! Be DISCREET or your beauty will look real ugly.

The point of this blog is for us to realize the truth. The Bible doesn't say a good man is hard to find. It says a good woman is hard to find. But oh when she is found!!! She brings favor to those who are blessed by her relationship. So, ladies, let us focus on being healed, getting whole and submitting to the Holy Spirit so that we can be those virtuous women that God is searching for to advance His kingdom and that men are looking for to complete their potential.