Soooooo...to be completely transparent, I want a man! I want to be pursued! I want somebody texting my phone and trying to come see me! I want to finally be in a relationship. I want to know what it's like! I honestly didn't even realize this! I THOUGHT I was content! I thought I didn't want a man! Why? Because I ALWAYS had one texting my phone and calling me and being my friend. I was being very disobedient because God BEEN done, yes, been done, told me that was bad for business.
What if my could be husband did try to talk to me but he seen I was constantly text Bob, Joe and Abram??? HOW can God send me a man when the spot is ALWAYS FILLED?!!! I was chanting "No randoms!!" because I wasn't dating anyone or sleeping with anyone, but I was USING my brothers in Christ to fill a void that only Christ can fill!
Smh.
So, here am I, brothers and sisters, letting you know for real for real, I'm tryna get a ring. Smh. Such a sad story.
I THOUGHT I was single, but in my heart I was not!
Upon this revelation of my heart, I immediately went to the Lord and prayed. I write prayers a lot, so I was writing it on my phone and I thought, man, this might help somebody! So, here it is, raw and real.
"I wanna be pursued!!! I want to have someone to text! I want a MAN on my
team for once! Help me Jesus to give these desires to you and not let
them consume me! Give me the patience to wait and the heart to want to
please You more than wanting this. All in your way and in your timing,
Lord. You are good and I know you have plans to prosper me and bring me
that one of a kind love! And I know that if You want me, knowing me at
my worst, that any man who doesn't want me is not for me. Help me to
keep my worth ever before my eyes and to see myself through Your vision
and not my own! Help me to see the ways in which you are pursuing my
heart and showing me how it's done!!! Teach me to be submissive to Your
Holy Spirit so that I will be a wife who knows how to be covered well.
Show me what true love is so that when it comes to me I will recognize
it and when the counterfeits come I will turn away! Help me to
accomplish the dreams you have put in my heart during this season. I
wanna court YOU Jesus! Remind me what romance is like and show me the
truth of who I am. Love on me, Jesus, for you know best how I am to be
loved. Lord, I devote my singleness to you. I don't want to want
anything more than I want You. This is Your time to shape me, mold me,
mend me, heal me, anoint me and exalt me. Make me who You want me to be.
Rid me of my selfishness. Make me more loving, kind, and patient. In
Your name I pray."
So, please, don't be like me and STOP acting like you don't want a man! You can say it all you want to your friends like I used to, but it won't change it! It's ok to want it, but it's never ok to want something more than you want God. Take that desire to Him and watch Him fulfill it! And if I call or text your phone talking bout some "I want a man like this" and blah blah blah, PLEASE tell me to shut up! Lol. WE have to STOP enabling each other, people!!! It's alright to know what you want and talk to one another about it; but when we singles are constantly talking about what we want in the next season, we will not enjoy this one!
So when your friend, male or female, comes talking to you about somebody, PLEASE, DON'T ENTERTAIN THEM!!! Now you KNOW that man or woman ain't for them, so WHY are you agreeing with everything they say and telling them to go for it??? Please, be helpers to one another and SHUT IT DOWN! REAL FRIENDS SAY NOOOOOO!!!
Point your friend to Jesus and the Bible and prayer! If God didn't speak that "advice" to you then do not share it. Unless the Lord parted the heavens and told you that's your homegirl's husband, do not giggle and help her pick apart everything he said to her. You might not be hurting her feelings, but you are playing a part in breaking her heart when that man walks into church with another woman! STOP being a PEOPLE PLEASER and be a GOD PLEASER. When you see your friend being crazy and planning her wedding to a man who has not even noticed her, please, love her by letting her know she is doing the most and she needs to focus on the Lord, give that to Him and let Him keep it until that man PURSUES her. (And I mean PURSUE with stated intentions, not saying hi or giving her a church hug. But that's a whole different blog.)
All that to say, praise God! I finally understand some more things now that I re-devoted my singleness to God. He truly is the best husband ever. Perfect even.
And now you know. Lol. I hope that this helped you and
that it helps me! And if you need a listening ear, or you HAVE a
listening ear please email me at ventura.ivory@gmail.com. Unless you're a man. Then don't email me at all. Email a brother, please. Lol.
Sincerely,
Your Finally Single Sister Ventura
Monday, June 2, 2014
Look Beyond Yourself Sometimes!
You know. I always look at these people who have degrees and children and people who have lost weight and gotten fit. Or people who walk in such power when they sing or preach or write. I realized that these people did stuff! It's HARD WORK earning a degree. Maybe they make it look easy; but that is not so.
You look at these people and you think "Man that's so awesome! I wanna be like them!!!" And you begin to COVET their PORTION. But you only want their portion of BLESSING. You want the FRUIT but you don't want the WORK. You don't know their story, their struggle or the heartache and pain it took to get where they are.
I would watch sermons and hear women preach and I would ask God to make me like them. But I quickly learned that prayer was not a good idea! Some people have gone through horrific things that I can't even imagine going through to get where they are! So stop wishing you were like somebody else! God has given you the portion just for you. The struggles, pangs, happiness and joys of life that you grow through were picked for you to make you stronger. GOD CHOSE YOU because the struggle you are in is not ALL ABOUT YOU!!!
I know, I know, how is it NOT about YOU?? YOU are the one with cancer. YOU are the one who got pregnant in high school. YOU are the one who was raped, hurt, abused, talked about, lied on, discouraged and mistreated. HOW is this not about ME?!!!
Let me tell you a story...
JESUS went through the UNimaginable. The undeserved horror that He experienced was awful. But out of LOVE He did it. He made it. He conquered it. Why? Because He understood that it was NOT about HIM.
God is taking you THROUGH THIS because there is someone NOW or DOWN THE ROAD who NEEDS your SACRIFICE.
God wants to teach you what it is really like to love. I'm always taken aback when I talk to women who have been through things that I know nothing about. I'm like, I don't know what to say to you! Thank God for the Holy Spirit who knows EVERYTHING; but it gets tricky when you cannot directly relate. And THEN God will send me someone who has been through a similar situation and I'm like WOW God!
For example, I've experienced a TON of rejection in my life. So when I can help someone who has been rejected overcome that fear, man. It is SO satisfying! And I can be like "Wow! God I THANK YOU for all the times I was REJECTED because it has allowed me to FREE SOMEONE ELSE!"
That's why I write in this blog! That's why I have confessed to all of you about my struggles with lust, rejection, fear and everything else. Why? Because God has taught me that the things I go through are not just about me!
That's why Peter said we REJOICE in suffering because like Christ we have the honor of suffering for the glory of God and for the salvation of others.
So I exhort you in these things:
1. STOP COVETING SOMEONE ELSE'S PORTION! You don't know their struggle! Be careful what you wish you had because you do not wish to go through what that person went through to get it. You see that person's amazing ministry or beautiful family or well paid job or delightful look when they hold their child, but what you did not see was the pain that they experienced during the birth of that thing. EVERYBODY wants a cute little kid to play with but NOBODY wants to go through LABOR! So think of that when you start to want someone else's life: Am I really willing to go through what they went through to get it? Eh, probably not. BE CONTENT with your portion and learn to MASTER your own temptations!
2. TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOU AND PUT THEM ON JESUS! Realize that what you are going through isn't all about you. But when you focus on YOU that's all you will see! When you are hurting or tempted to be depressed or angry FOCUS on the CROSS! FOCUS on where you're going not what you're feeling! FORGIVE somebody!!! Jesus died for what they did to you too!
You look at these people and you think "Man that's so awesome! I wanna be like them!!!" And you begin to COVET their PORTION. But you only want their portion of BLESSING. You want the FRUIT but you don't want the WORK. You don't know their story, their struggle or the heartache and pain it took to get where they are.
I would watch sermons and hear women preach and I would ask God to make me like them. But I quickly learned that prayer was not a good idea! Some people have gone through horrific things that I can't even imagine going through to get where they are! So stop wishing you were like somebody else! God has given you the portion just for you. The struggles, pangs, happiness and joys of life that you grow through were picked for you to make you stronger. GOD CHOSE YOU because the struggle you are in is not ALL ABOUT YOU!!!
I know, I know, how is it NOT about YOU?? YOU are the one with cancer. YOU are the one who got pregnant in high school. YOU are the one who was raped, hurt, abused, talked about, lied on, discouraged and mistreated. HOW is this not about ME?!!!
Let me tell you a story...
JESUS went through the UNimaginable. The undeserved horror that He experienced was awful. But out of LOVE He did it. He made it. He conquered it. Why? Because He understood that it was NOT about HIM.
God is taking you THROUGH THIS because there is someone NOW or DOWN THE ROAD who NEEDS your SACRIFICE.
God wants to teach you what it is really like to love. I'm always taken aback when I talk to women who have been through things that I know nothing about. I'm like, I don't know what to say to you! Thank God for the Holy Spirit who knows EVERYTHING; but it gets tricky when you cannot directly relate. And THEN God will send me someone who has been through a similar situation and I'm like WOW God!
For example, I've experienced a TON of rejection in my life. So when I can help someone who has been rejected overcome that fear, man. It is SO satisfying! And I can be like "Wow! God I THANK YOU for all the times I was REJECTED because it has allowed me to FREE SOMEONE ELSE!"
That's why I write in this blog! That's why I have confessed to all of you about my struggles with lust, rejection, fear and everything else. Why? Because God has taught me that the things I go through are not just about me!
That's why Peter said we REJOICE in suffering because like Christ we have the honor of suffering for the glory of God and for the salvation of others.
So I exhort you in these things:
1. STOP COVETING SOMEONE ELSE'S PORTION! You don't know their struggle! Be careful what you wish you had because you do not wish to go through what that person went through to get it. You see that person's amazing ministry or beautiful family or well paid job or delightful look when they hold their child, but what you did not see was the pain that they experienced during the birth of that thing. EVERYBODY wants a cute little kid to play with but NOBODY wants to go through LABOR! So think of that when you start to want someone else's life: Am I really willing to go through what they went through to get it? Eh, probably not. BE CONTENT with your portion and learn to MASTER your own temptations!
2. TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOU AND PUT THEM ON JESUS! Realize that what you are going through isn't all about you. But when you focus on YOU that's all you will see! When you are hurting or tempted to be depressed or angry FOCUS on the CROSS! FOCUS on where you're going not what you're feeling! FORGIVE somebody!!! Jesus died for what they did to you too!
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