On Women in the Church

      We must learn to read scripture in the context of God’s character.  In the context of God’s track record, it does not seem to me that He would ever choose someone or not choose someone based on an unchangeable. God often picked people who were unlikely choices from the beginning. I do not believe that God changes position when it comes to choosing those who hold office in His church and I do not believe that we should either. 

      To say that women cannot be elders and pastors is to say that the feminine voice of God is not needed, not valid, and not important. It is to say that God is only masculine. Are not pastors and elders mere representatives of God? Do they not make decisions based on God’s word and God’s character for God’s church? So then, why is it that women must be excluded from such decisions? Because she would then be in “authority” over a man? WHAT? That is ridiculous! The word says we should all submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So to suggest that a man should not be subject under authority because someone is a woman is outrageous. Are you not subject under the authority of your mother? Should a young man not submit to house rules because his mother is a woman? Should his goal and upbringing be rooted in rebellion because a woman should not have authority over a man? Should the church suffer from relational lack because we refuse to allow a woman to hold authority in the church? When the very nature of God that is expressed through femininity is relationship? I have seen these churches run by only men and the relational aspect suffers. People are hurt and feel disconnected in church because there were no women in leadership. Point blank period.

      God created male and female in His image. Equally. Equal in authority. Equal in importance. Equal in rank. You want to preach this “equality” as though you include us only at a level that does not threaten your manhood. Negro, I don’t want your position! I want to be free to walk in the authority that God has given me. The authority to fill the earth and subdue it! That command was given to us both, not only you. It is also my birthright to subdue the earth and have dominion. My dominion is not subject to yours. I am not subject to you. The Bible says that a wife should submit to HER OWN HUSBAND not to every man in the world! C’mon, somebody read it in context. When Paul says man is the head of the woman, he is speaking in the context of marriage, not in the context of church leadership. If a woman is in submission to her husband, then why are you bothering her about her calling? Her purpose has everything to do with her marriage. Her husband understands it and supports her. But you always got something to say.

      In the very letter that Paul lines out the 5-fold ministry He also says that in Christ there is no difference among us. There is no male or female, Jew or Greek, slave or free. In Christ we are one in the same. Why? Because we no longer live but Christ lives in us and through us.

      In conclusion, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I do not fit into your definition of femininity. I’m sorry that my call to lead in the body of Christ has somehow offended you. And I do apologize that you will see much less of heaven on earth because of your narrow-minded view of God. But I am not sorry and I will not apologize for who I am, the authority that I carry, and the power that God has given me to be His feminine voice on this earth. I am 100% woman and 50% of God’s image on this earth. I will not be silenced, I will not be benched, and I will not be timid. I will boldly proclaim the word of God before women and men around this world. I will fiercely run into my calling. I will lead. I will shepherd. I will love without conditions and I will govern with wisdom. And if you don’t like it, get in line.

Why I Stopped Listening to Certain Music

Let me tell you a story.......

A while back I was riding in the car with my covenant friend. We were chillin, listening to an old school R&B station. I wasn't really even paying attention to the song, I was just driving. Then out of NO WHERE, y'all, these images flooded my mind of me and a guy I used to mess around with. Images of us just doing ungodly stuff, and I was shocked. I was like what the heck?! I haven't seen nor talked to, and definitely haven't touched this dude in years! Where did those thoughts come from?! I started thinking about it and I thought, oh, must be this music we are listening to. So, I instinctively turned it off.

My friend looked at me like what happened to the music??? So I said my bad and turned it back on. At this point I started listening to the song. Lo and behold it was Freddie Jackson talkin' about some let me rock you tonight for old times sake! And I was like "Awww naw! I can't be listening to this mess!!!" And I turned it off again. It was crazy how a song that I wasn't even fully attentive to fired something in my brain that led to the lusts of my past.

When I met the Lord, I knew I had to give up the music that I loved so much, because when you decide to follow Jesus, it is not without sacrifice. {Side note: If you have gotten saved but haven't sacrificed ANYTHING of your old life expect now you go to church more often, you need to work that out with fear and trembling, cause that ain't right.} So, I gave it up. I literally collected every CD and gave them away and I deleted every song in my iTunes that did not uplift the name of Jesus. I just had to quit one day. Cold turkey. It was hard for me because, y'all, I was hooked. Hahahah! I remember saying to myself, "Dang, now I gotta get dressed to Regis and Kelly every morning! This sucks!"

But, it was so so so worth it at the time and very necessary. And I have recently decided to go back to where I began. Let me tell you why:

Music is a gateway to your heart. It truly is. Think about it. For example, you've seen Set it Off, right? With Queen Latifah, Jada Pickett, Vivica? Well if you have seen it then you gonna know exactly what I'm talking about. I cannot watch that movie, and if I do there is one scene that I must fast forward through, and it's the iconic scene where Queen Latifah's character gets gunned down in the street. Now, there are several movies I've seen where people get shot, but this scene was epic and emotionally intense for me. Because, number 1, they put it in slow motion and, number 2, the dang music!!! Think about when you watch a movie, and a lot of times it's "just the beat" that adds suspense or allure to each scene. A movie would be nothing without a score to move it along.

The same with our lives, people! We get to pick the soundtrack, and the music we choose will determine how we feel during each season of our lives! This is some revelation right here. When I was trapped in lust and sexual sin I had to take a long deep look at my soundtrack. Was I listening to songs that encouraged me to set my mind on things above? (Colossians 3) Or was I listening to music that would justify and empower me to continue in my sin?

I know what you're thinking, it's JUST MUSIC! Hah! Look, I love you for reading this, but that is soooooo ignorant. And you know it. You know music is not just music. It is a force that can motivate us or depress us, it can make us feel powerful or it can drain us in a hot second. What you are feeding your mind will plant seeds and those seeds will be watered and begin to grow! What kind of fruit could R. Kelly 'nem possibly be producing that will bring glory to God? I Believe I Can Fly? C'mon, girl, you know you ain't listening to that!

STOP coming up with excuse after excuse as to why you refuse to sacrifice your comforts and desires to please God. Stop it. You and me both. Jesus did not leave His throne and walk this earth in perfection so that you can say "Well, it's not that big of a deal." ANYTHING that separates you from God is a big deal.

So, how is listening to music about sex, drama, drugs, money, and false love separating you from God? First of all, when you listen to J. Cole, what are you thinking about? Jesus? When you are doing the wobble, the whip, or whatever else, what is on your mind? The word of God? Is Fetty Wap really bringing you closer to Jesus or promoting the fruit of the Spirit? Uh...nah. So why are you, my Christian brother, my sister in Christ, defending their music? You need to check your heart. Because eventually those seeds will take root and spring up some mess in your life. Galatians 6:7, 8 tells us that we reap what we sow. If we sow in the flesh we will of the flesh reap destruction! You continue to sow in the flesh then you wake up dumbfounded...found dumb...talking about some "I don't even know why I'm struggling with this!!!"

Uh, really? You sowed it...sooooooo????

We cannot constantly invite things into our hearts that promote and agitate our emotions and then wonder why our lives are a train wreck. We can't keep listening to hello from the other side and wonder why we can't let go of past relationships. That's just senseless, people.

The Bible says this: Finally brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is HONORABLE, whatever is JUST, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is COMMENDABLE - if there is ANY MORAL EXCELLENCE and if there is any PRAISE - think of these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you. {Philippians 4:8, 9}

Does anything in your playlist not meet these standards? If it doesn't meet one it doesn't meet any.

Let us, who are in Christ, be found guilty of one simple thing, pursuing Christ with all we have. That means we have got to stop asking what we can get away with as Christians and still be accepted by a world that hated our Savior. That means we have to stop looking so similar to the world that no one can tell the difference. That means we have to risk and accept rejection as often as it comes. That means we have to start asking how can I separate myself from this world and become more holy every day?

Being a Christian definitely means you don't do what everyone else does. Not because you cannot; but because you know that what's good to you ain't always good for you. C'mon. Be separate.

Did you Know that Jesus had a Job, too?!

This is a reminder for those who are somewhere they don't want to be forever. 

ENJOY IT ANYWAY!!! 

I work at Panera Bread. I don't always like my job. It irritates me as God uses it to grow my character. But it is super fun for the most part! Serving people and working with people who have become like family to me. 

I've worked at a number of restaurants and I've eaten at way more than I've worked at. Let me tell you something that gets on my last nerve about people who are offering any type of service as an occupation: people who look like they HATE their lives and treat you like YOU are the worst thing that ever happened to them!

You, Susie Christian, do you do that?

You may be in a place in your life where you're not at all where you want to be or where you're going to stay. God has plans to move you. However, I guarantee if you're constantly grumbling and complaining about where you are now you would take that nasty attitude with you into the next season!

So, please, do your job with joy. You can make a difference in someone's life whether you are assembling sandwiches at Subway or on the campaign trail for president. It's all about thinking about someone other than your self. Kind ofLike  Jesus does constantly. 

The first thing you should do is smile. Genuinely SMILE. Don't be so lame! We all know you don't like serving burgers and fries, but smile anyway cause it's not always about you. Find SOMETHING to smile about. It really goes a LONG way. 

Secondly, go above and beyond sometimes!!! Don't be in excess and get in trouble, but go the extra inch it takes to make someone's day! Ask how their day is and...MEAN IT! Remember a name. Step out of the box. Have fun for once!

Remember, as God's children our aim is to please Him. And it pleases Him when we work like He was writing out paycheck, because truthfully, He is the real provider not that little job anyway!  Work like Jesus did!

Now Jesus KNEW He was the Son of God. God in the flesh. The Living Word. He was IT! But it was a while before He walked in His ministry. What did He do until then? HE WORKED! Lol. He was the oldest in His family too? I'm sure He spent most of that time working with Joseph. You don't think Jesus dealt with some difficult customers from time to time? Maybe He even got frustrated because He knew He wasn't going to be a carpenter all His life. But I'm sure He didn't have a sour face and take it out on customers and coworkers. He worked as unto the Lord.

So let's work on this people. Help me! Lol. My number one thing is constantly complaining about work when I'm there. And always saying I'm ready to go! Lol. Pray for me as I ask the Holy Spirit to help me be thankful instead of complaining. When I complain I blend in with the the people who work there who are unbelievers. Is that how I need to be acting if I'm supposed to be set apart? Nope. You neither.

What are some of your weaknesses when it comes to working as unto the Lord?

We can do it! Let's get with God and learn to work like He is watching. Because guess what? He is. 

25 Year Old Virgin

 

  It’s been almost a year and a half now that I have been back home and serving in the church I grew up in. During it all God has been showing me some amazing things and giving me great opportunities for growth. One amazing thing He has done is connect me closely with two women who are passionate about Him and love me dearly. Through talking with them constantly, (literally, constantly. Lol.), and hearing how they speak about purity God has changed my perspective on a lot of things.

     A while back I shared my testimony about dealing with a sexual addiction. Every detail is true. I was that person. I was addicted to sexual activity and I allowed it lead to me into some dark places and unimaginable situations. Yet through all of that God preserved me. I am turning 25 in a month and I am a virgin.

     Some people know that I’ve never had sex. Too many applaud me in these efforts as though I somehow maintained my virginity on my own account. Since I did not make this vow of abstinence before or even after I got saved I have felt flat out guilty. Guilty. I have carried guilt with me every time someone tries to congratulate me or say they look up to me for not giving in to temptation. But here is the 100% truth: I gave in. I have a long history of giving in. Because of that long history God saw fit not to allow me into a situation where I would compromise the gift of my virginity.

     Yes, gift. Why do you think men in the past and even in the present have had to pay a bride price? What do you think a dowry is? Oh, I know. You think it is slavery. You think fathers basically sold their daughters for money. You may be right. Some of them very well did. But, did you ever think it through, though? How valuable and precious a virgin has been over centuries that any man had to pay a price for her? Remember a time when marrying someone who was not a virgin was repugnant and a social injustice? In current times, women and men alike carry it like a curse when it is the most beautiful blessing of all. And I’m guilty of it first. I can’t tell you a day where I felt honored and anointed to be a virgin. I have mostly felt ashamed and naïve. I have felt I was seen as immature for not experiencing sex outside of marriage. I have felt left out on some things.

      I have also felt like people don’t understand the nature of sexuality. My sexuality was awakened at a very young age; and having not had sexual intercourse does not constitute me as pure, clean, or ignorant when it comes to sexual content. That’s why I know I was addicted even though I hadn’t had the sex; I was addicted to the idea and to all the beginning stages. Let me break it down to you like this, masturbation, mutual and otherwise, is sex. Oral sex, it sex, it actually has the word sex in it. All of you who have had Intercourse can combat me and debate me all you want, and it is true that you have experienced something that I have not, but please do not discredit my struggle because of the language of it. You weren’t there.

     Part of me still wants to scream and demand that people please stop calling me a virgin. Because there is so much more to purity than not have sex with another person. I want people to understand that. I want people to get it. I want people to stop assuming that I’m some perfect, pure, untouched angel because I’ve never gone all the way. The truth is I’ve gotten close. The truth is it didn’t take for me to go all the way to understand that sex took me to a dark place that suffocated me with lust until I couldn’t function without it.

     Another part of me wants people to understand that just because you don’t do the act of sexual intercourse doesn’t meant that you have not committed a sin against your own body. That’s why the Bible calls it sexual immortality and fornication instead of just sex. There is so much tied to it all and not just to the act of sex. Please hear me when I say this, you are living your life by a lie if you think you can do everything but penetrate and God is okay with that. That is a perverted version of the truth. Please come out from among that and be free.

     I, having never had sexual intercourse, was bound by lust until one day when I just knew I was over it. Over the struggle. Over the back and forth. Just over SIN and its DESTRUCTION. Sin was RUINING my life. Walking in defeat was overshadowing everything. I was drowning. It was keeping me from my purpose, so I repented, maybe for the very first time, and I told God I was done. I told Him I was done with sin and its stronghold on my life. I haven’t slipped since.

     It is still a struggle for me to accept that I’m a virgin. It really doesn’t make sense. It boggles my mind that I can carry such an honorable title with all the junk I’ve done, all the horrible things I’ve done. I asked God if I’m just supposed to forget it all. His response: “I did.”

He did. He forgot. My sins have already been paid for and are covered under the blood of His only Son. God did that. He covered me. He covered you. No matter what your situation, know that there is redemption in the cross. Don't wallow in your guilt any longer. Come out of it with me. Accept that the price was paid and stop trying to pay it yourself.

I finally, at 25 years old, can say I'm free of that guilt. I'm free!!! I am finally happy and glad to be a virgin because I know God kept me because He loves me. And even when I mess up I know and believe I am forgiven. 

     I’m asking that we pray together as we work towards forgiving ourselves for our trespasses towards God and some of his people. I’m asking that if you see me, remind me that my sin has been cast away as far as the east is from the west and I will do the same for you. Remind me of grace; because grace is the only thing keeping us from sin, it is the power to stay pure, it is the power to say no to ungodliness.

February Feature: Candice McGruder

First off, let me begin by stating that what I am about to say is alsohttps://www.blogger.com/null aimed at myself, along with the rest of the body of Christ. I, like every single believer, needs to really, really examine themselves to make sure that they are still in the faith. 2 Corinthians 13:5

So, around 5 o’clock this morning, The Holy Spirit beckoned me to the throne of grace to pray. Now, I love to pray, I really do. I do it all the time, in fact. I pray daily because the Word tells us to Ephesians 6:18, and, I find that when I don’t, I become a mean little… Grinch? Yeah, I will use that word, Grinch. I find that when I do not press into the presence of God daily, throughout that day, I act extremely Grinchy. 

Now, before you nominate me for sainthood, you should inquire about the content of my prayers. That information is very vital to the rest of this piece. The content of my prayers are less centered around what the bible says to pray about, and more around… well, me. I pray for myself, I pray for my family, I pray for my daily needs, I pray for my friends, I pray for my wants, I pray for my Pastor, I pray for my bills to be paid, I pray for my Sorority, I pray for what Myself will eat; you see the trend here?  I am, like many American believers, very concerned about MY wellbeing, MY family, MY friends. I am very concerned with MYself.  So, when God woke me up to pray at 5:00 AM, I went down my check list of things to pray for and wondered why God woke me up an hour and a half before I needed to be awake. I was concerned about MY lack of sleep for MY job that day.  Silly willy Candice.

While at work, I was listening to my Jonathan McReynolds Pandora station, and like always, it was bomb. However, I began to notice a trend with the songs that were playing. They were playing songs about praying. Like, I am so serious. Nearly every song that played, was a song about praying. But not just regular, Candice type praying, no, but interceding.

DEFINTION BREAK: For those who don’t know the correct definition of interceding, please allow me to enlighten you. To intercede means to act or interpose in behalf of someone in difficulty or trouble, as by pleading or petition. I got this definition straight from dictionary.com.

I mean left and right, songs about intercession. William Murphy’s song called “I Prayed for You” , Yolanda Adams “Be Blessed” (which talks about praying for another person to be blessed). But, the song that really spoke to me was not really a song at all, but a plead from William McDowell. It was the Interlude to his song “Intercession”, and boy did it speak to me. In it, he is pleading with believers to set aside ourselves and to pray for the nations. He mentions how it takes faith not worry about our needs, but the needs of others. Faith, the kind that the Lilies of the field have that allows them to neither toil nor spin over what they will wear, and yet are dressed better than Solomon. Matthew 6:28-34

That is so real, beloved. SO super real. We as believers know that God is everything we need. In many passages of scripture He implores us not to worry, that we will be just fine. I know I am not very old, I am actually very young, but I have been walking with The Lord for quite some time, and I have yet to go hungry, yet to not have any clothes on my back, and yet to not have a place to lay my head. God has taken care of me, before I even knew to ask Him to! So why beloved, why, do we stress out, and worry about those things? Why?

With all that poverty that was around me growing up, I still ate, even if it was peas that my granddad grew and deer that he shot. I was still able to have a place to lay my head, even though we did move around a lot when I was little and lived in government housing some of my life. I still had clothes. I was still well taken care of. In Psalms 37 verse 25, the Palmist declares this “ I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread”. God is faithful to His word, yall. We don’t know how we made it but bless God that we did. That is exactly what I am talking about. God has NEVER forsaken us, and HE NEVER will. Hebrews 13:5

So, if we know these things, why do we continue to stress out about the past due light bill, or the late rent, and continue to harp God about the things He has already promised us, when there are people literally dying and going to HELL every day? When there are people who have yet to be touched by the Love of the Gospel? When there are people who fail to realize the return of Christ? Priorities beloved, priorities. What are we really spending our time praying about?

Now, am I saying that we are not supposed to pray for the things we need? No, I'm not saying that. But what I am saying is this: examine what it is you are spending your time praying on, and line it up with the Word of God. I mean if you are going to pester God about something, pester Him about the condition of the sinner’s soul, not your car note, or the delay in your “prince charming” ( If you cant say amen, ouch will be accepted).

God calls us to be ambassadors for Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20 He calls us to stand in the gap, to make a plea on His behalf!  Are we really standing? Are we really doing what God has for us to do? Are we praying for others? Are we implementing the same mind that Christ had in ourselves? Philippians 2:5

So, I’m not really sure about you, but I would like to have the  type of faith to pray for someone else, instead of myself. I would like to do what God actually called me to do, and that is to stand in the gap and intercede for others! I want to be that light that Christ talks about in Matthew 5:14-16. Beloved, I make my appeal to you, as the body of Christ, lets stand and do what He actually has us here to do. Intercede yall, intercede. 

Peace, Love, and Joy

Candice Marie McGruder

-An Humble Servant of Christ

Some Kind of Wonderful???

There's a book out there called Lady in Waiting, a book on becoming a woman of God while waiting for Mr. Right.  One thing that stood out to me in this encouraging compilation was the subject of enabling.

en·abled en·abling

Full Definition of ENABLE

1

a :  to provide with the means or opportunity <training that enables people to earn a living>

b :  to make possible, practical, or easy <a deal that would enable passage of a new law>

c :  to cause to operate <software that enables the keyboard>

2

:  to give legal power, capacity, or sanction to <a law enabling admission of a state> 

What we are focusing on here is definition b: to make possible, practical or easy.

Why was this in a book about singleness? Well, watch this clip from the popular movie He's Just Not That Into You. The short haired woman is Gigi and the long haired woman is Janine.

Immediately after they hug Janine invites Gigi to look up places for a WEDDING! A stinking WEDDING! The guy has showed no interest in her besides these "signs" they claim to have seen.

Think about it. Do either of these women sound like someone you know? Maybe a close friend, family member or maybe even your mother?

Which one reminds you most of you?

And we Christian women are the WORST. Lol. Especially in this whole "that's my future husband" business. We are no less thirsty than we were beforehand except now we will dive into the covenant of marriage in our hearts quick because that's more "holy."

A lot of times in our walk with God we as single women are doing our very best to stay focused on pursuing and loving Jesus with all our hearts and that's when the enemy comes along with what we call a random. A random is someone who you KNOW God did not call you to be with but you date or "court" them anyway because of whatever reason. The enemy sends randoms to distract us, and sometimes he will even use our friend's harmless optimistic attitudes to aid in the process.

This harmless optimistic attitude would be that of your enabler. A friend of yours that you call when you meet a cute guy because you KNOW that whatever you say you saw, felt, or heard she will agree with you. She will encourage you to text him, talk with him. She will sit with you for hours and pick apart the conversation to look for clues that he is in fact madly in love with you. She will help you convince yourself that he is the one and the Lord will do it and to keep on praying and believing. And yes that dream means this and yes that look meant that. And I have to laugh because your sweet friend is just being herself: sweet, supportive, and on your team!

It's true she loves you! It's true she would do nothing to hurt you in a million years! And it's true that she has helped you into more trouble than anyone else because she upheld your emotions and not your God. And I've been there. I've been on both sides of this coin, and neither side is pretty. Most of my friends enabled me through life helping me believe that I would be next. Helping me believe that this is the one. Helping me see that he said one thing but really meant another. That is not cute!

I have learned my lesson! I'm not writing this post to dog your BFFL for enabling you. I'm writing this post for the enabler in all of us women who truly believe in love. I'm writing to remind us all to STOP dead in our tracks and PRAY before we agree to anything else, read anymore text messages, or listen to or participate in anymore over analyzing. Truth is, we don't know anything. Lol. Truth is, our friend wants someone to listen to her and we are so good at that. That's why we're friends. But at the end of the day she needs to be reminded that God is her source. That if this is the man for her God will give her clear direction.

So, please, be a good friend and a great sister in Christ and point your sister, lovingly, to Jesus and not to a man. As fun as it is as girls to gush about a guy with our friends, please save the gushing until it actually happens. Help your sister guard her heart and do not awaken love WAY before its time.

Try something different. When she calls or texts, say, let's pray! Cause girl you KNOW I'm no help in a situation like this; but God is help in all situations! If you know that man is not for her by prompting of the Holy Spirit tell her! Be led by God, not by the moment. Push her toward Jesus, not towards could be's and would be's. 

Let's stop enabling one another and stay FOCUSED.

Leave. Me. Alone. No, really. A-LONE. By Myself.

 

I've got something to say.

Today I was watching a syndicated talk show, The Real. This show has five hostesses. One is completely single, three are married, one is in a long term relationship. Loni, the single woman, read a letter from a fan today that was my LIFE in their segment called "Girl Chat."

Here's the link to the video. It's about 3 minutes if you want to watch it.

The letter from the fan talked about how she is single and perfectly fine with it; but around the holidays especially, all of her friends and family stay trying to hook her up with EVERYBODY and she is just sick of it.

Loni completely agrees with the woman, because she is a single woman who enjoys her single life and doesn't see herself being married any time soon. The other women on the panel however, seem to have a hard time understanding why she is so content.

How many of us live this EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! It's like everyone in the world wants to remind you that you're single! No matter what you are doing with your life or what you've accomplished people continuously fight for you to believe that things truly aren't complete without a mate.

"Oh I have a Master's Degree!" "That's great! When are you getting married, girl?!"
 *side eye*

"Oh I just planted my first church!"
"Wow! Congrats! That's amazing! When you gon' get a first lady thought?!"
 *siiiiiiddddeee EYE*

"Hey! I just indicted Darren Wilson!!!"
"Oh, for real? That's amazing! When you getting a man, tho?"

For real? It's seriously like that when you're single in this world! And I'm like, bro, CHIIIILLLL!!! I am FINE!!! No, I wasn't lonely until you told me I should be! I wasn't thinking about no man until you reminded me that I don't have one!

So this is a crying out to all you happy relationship people, over zealous parents, nosy co-workers, and braggy older siblings: LEAVE US ALONE!!!

Let me tell you a story, if you didn't notice, there is a lot of work to be done in this world. Souls need saving, rights need to be fought for, justice needs to be served, and the gospel needs to preached. Therefore, if I'm about my Father's business, I am in His will. If I am in His will, then He will make my paths straight. And if a beautiful 6'2' black man who loves the Lord and hates injustice is in that straight path and God sees fit for us to become one, I guarantee God is ABLE! But, tell me WHY, I'm preaching to YOU about MY single season? Please, in the most respectful way, GET SOME BUSINESS! We ALL need to be busy doing God's work because we are His ambassadors sent to reconcile people to Him. God needs single people whose hearts aren't divided yet! (1 Cor 7)

Dear Grandma, Mama, Uncle Ray Ray, Aunt Billie Jean, random girl at work, we love you, we truly truly do; but please, for the sake of our contentment, leave. us. alone. We like to be left alone. We want it to be just us and Jesus. (For now) And there is nothing WRONG with being ALONE!!!

Jesus quite often left the crowd to be alone.

Paul preached the gospel for three years alone before he met up with other apostles. Not to mention he was single his entire life.

It is true that most of us are called to marriage. It is also true that God is taking us through different seasons and preparations for marriage. And it's also true that not everything is about marriage! Can I just be alone? Pay my own rent? Wash my own dishes that I bought? Go home and feed nobody but myself? Let me enjoy it! Find something else to complain about and leave me alone!

Most of us want to get married one day, but why is our contentment in this single season so upsetting to you when the Bible tells us to be content! I'm trying to not awaken love until it's time. I'm trying to leave holy. And the best way you can help me is to leave me alone. Talk about anything else, but that.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
A Frustrated, Content Single Person

Is God your Source or your Last Resort?

A lot of us who are Christians fail to take inventory of what's going on inside of us. We get so caught up in routine and just life that we don't sit before JESUS and allow Him to transform is DAILY. Yes, DAILY. 

See. Some of us thought that once we got saved the transforming was over. But no. This is a day by day thing until we meet Jesus face to face.

So when was the last time you did something differently? When was the last time you allowed the Holy Spirit to correct you?

This is what we are going to do today. We are going to examine our actions to see if we truly are living like Jesus intended. No, we aren't perfect. And no, we won't get it all right. But, yes, we will intentionally say NO to ungodliness and pursue Jesus. 

So I wanna know this: do you go to God on every decision? Do you seek Him at every turn? Do you consult the Word when you are confronted with a situation? Is JESUS the VERY EPICENTER of your being? Does He HOLD you TOGETHER? If not, who does? If you don't go to the Word when someone makes you mad, who or what do you consult? If when making a decision on who to date or what job to take you don't seek God's plan, whose plan are you seeking? Your mothers? Your own? The worlds idea of what your life should be like? When you get into it with your husband who are you inquiring of about your marriage? About your children? Who do you act like when you have a bad day? The old you? Or Jesus? 

These are all questions I ask because David asked them. He said search my heart, O God! See if there be ANY offensive way in me! And LEAD me in the way of the EVERLASTING! (Psalm 139) (And yes Psalm 139 talks about more than how fearfully and wonderfully made you are!!!!)

Too many of us are going in the way of the short term fix. We want it quick and dirty. We don't prefer the way of everlasting because it requires too much of us! But we must seek and go in the way of the Lord. You call yourself His daughter, His son, right? Then act like it. 

We need to re-center. Reposition ourselves. We have gotten too comfortable doing things the worlds way again. It's time to reel it back in. Get the slack out of our line to the voice of God and seek and obey Him at every turn.

So take inventory today. Get out a piece of paper or a journal and THINK. For once stop just reacting to everything around you! Your instincts are not the way God desires to handle everything. Stick to the Word for guidance and the Holy Spirit for counsel. Let God be your SOURCE and don't just go to Him when you're in trouble. Don't wait until you're in trouble! Go to Him NOW. Right now!

The song says, He's waiting on you. He knows just what to do.

A Good Man is Hard to Find???

Let me tell you a story...

I was at church yesterday and the Exhorter preached from Proverbs 31:10. As long as I've been a woman I've heard this scripture preached to me.

"You are worth MORE than rubies!"
"Know your worth!"
"Live like you are worth more than rubies!"

And that is a very valuable message.

But what caught my attention yesterday, and I believe for the very first time, was the beginning of that verse.

Who can find a virtuous woman?

The preacher said that men are looking for virtuous women. GOD is looking for virtuous women!

And I thought, Hmmmm. We always complaining saying 'a good man is hard to find' but the Bible says a good WOMAN is hard to find!'

So, let me say this, women are constantly complaining that they cannot find a good man. Well I know why. BECAUSE YOU AIN'T A GOOD WOMAN!!!

First of all, if you were that virtuous woman you would understand that it is not your job to look but to be found.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, since WHEN have you EVA, EVA, yes, EVAAAAA, read or heard about the TREASURE uncovering itself and going to find the pirate?!! You haven't. And you won't. Because when something is valuable, people will come looking for it! STAY COVERED!!! The Bible says that the life we once lived is HIDDEN in Christ! (Col 3) Some of y'all trying to come out of hiding far too soon. My admonishment to you is to stay HIDDEN in Christ, because, honey, you look much better covered in His blood than you ever will flashing your broken self.

Second of all, you and me and the rest are so worried about what kind of man we need in order to not get hurt again that we refuse to see our flaws. We focus so much on the "I'm worth more than rubies" that we stay spiritually and mentally immature. We steady engaging in gossip and drama. We so worried about getting a man that when we do we will have no idea how to KEEP HIM!!! All that drama, nagging, gossip, and childish jealousy will run that man crazy. The way you acting now will bring hell into that marriage you praying so hard for. Yes, know your worth, but act like it! As Exhorter Jones said yesterday, we have to learn to operate FAR ABOVE because that is what we are worth.

Third of all, like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. It is so important to dialogue about discretion in this time. During this new feminist movement, women everywhere are louder and looser than ever. And I say that to our shame. We begging God for a man forgetting than when we get him we are commanded to submit to him but refuse to practice submission and class now. We are to be a CROWN on our husband's head. Who wants to wear a loud, audacious crown? Or a crown that is easily lusted after because of it's flashiness? We need to learn to be classy women who will compliment our husbands and future husbands, not overtake them with our "personality."

Let me tell you something, I am loud. My personality is overly friendly, sarcastic, and doesn't mind attention. My personality does not exempt me from pursuing a gentle and quiet spirit. But that's a different blog. All I'm saying is act like you got some sense. Stop constantly talking over people, interrupting them, eating with your mouth wide open. Cross your legs, cover up, stop telling your business to everybody and, for the sake of the gospel, stop telling everybody else's business too! Be DISCREET or your beauty will look real ugly.

The point of this blog is for us to realize the truth. The Bible doesn't say a good man is hard to find. It says a good woman is hard to find. But oh when she is found!!! She brings favor to those who are blessed by her relationship. So, ladies, let us focus on being healed, getting whole and submitting to the Holy Spirit so that we can be those virtuous women that God is searching for to advance His kingdom and that men are looking for to complete their potential.

The True Injustice

There's a lot going on in our world. When I heard the prosecutor announce that there was no probable cause for the indictment of an officer who shot an unarmed man 6 times, a lot of emotions circled me.

I often have a lot to say about racism in America, the denial that it still exists, and the injustice often served to people of color across this country, and the world.

However, I asked the Lord what I should do with my frustrations. He said, of course, to bring them to Him. When I did, here is what I discovered.

A majority of us believe that justice was not served today. I didn't see all the evidence up close, and I don't know that I could be trusted to make a non-biased opinion if I did. But still, even if one of those shots was justified, surely the other 5 were not.

What struck me is that maybe Mike Brown didn't know Jesus. I don't know him at all, but what if he didn't? What if he never heard the true gospel? What if people petted him his whole life and fooled him into thinking he had at least 10 more years to "get his life right" and come to Jesus? That is the real injustice.

The real injustice is that WE are dying everyday. By we, I mean US, THIS GENERATION! You, me, our peers, friends, cousins, classmates. Mike was 18 years old when he was gunned down. Cancer is the second leading cause of death for children. We are dying everyday! If not at the hand of the white supremacist it's at the hand of an extra line of cocaine or even at the end of the barrel of our own gun.

Yet and still we don't give two crumbs at the bottom of a cracker box about where we will spend eternity. We holler YOLO and keep on living a life of HELL procrastinating repentance when we have no idea if we will make it to the next day, the next week, the next year. Then we stand in the street and riot about a brother "gone too soon." This should be a wake up call that we ain't but that far from being "gone too soon" ourselves! Instead of acting a fool we should be running to the cross that our grandmothers sang about!!!

Holiness is urgent. Salvation is current. And repentance can no longer be delayed.

It is time out for trying to be cute and politically correct with the gospel. Preach the truth in and out of season. When it's popular and when it's rejected. When it's easy and when it's difficult. When you feel like it, and my God, even when you do not! They say friends don't let friends die without hearing the gospel!

The Lord also spoke to me this: DO NOT BE DECEIVED!!! Do you NOT see the diversion of the devil?! He is out to divert our attention from the real problem. Which is sin. The problem with the justice system is not racism, it's that it's ran by humans! People who are sinful at the core like me and you but probably refuse to believe it. The only perfect justice is that of Jesus Christ.

We are all that officer. We committed horrible crime; but not against anyone here on earth. We committed horrible crime against the One, True Living God. We have all sinned against a holy God. And we were indicted, arraigned, and convicted. Sentenced to eternal separation from the very God we sinned against.

And justice was served.

But not on us. 

No. We did not receive our just reward. We did not get what we DESERVED even though we so quickly demand the blood of a policeman or of anyone who we think did us wrong! We want him and our father who left us and our family member who molested us and our coworker who gets on our everlasting nerves ALL to PAY!!! But WE WALK FREE!!!

Because God sought justice through the blood of His very own Son rather than commit us all to an eternity in hell. You are quick to yell and scream and shout "Thank You Jesus! Your blood has set me free!" and in the same breath throw another man no worse than you to the wolves.

We are just as full of hatred as any racist when we refuse to remember that Jesus died for their sins too! We are not the only ones who get to walk free!

So, please, be compassionate and forgiving, because, even though it's hard and it seems wrong, God does that for us every single day.

And please, do not delay. Be quick to repent and return to God because you never know when you will meet your gunman.

Break Through that Mountain

Do you ever feel like you keep going around the same mountain? That you're living this Christian life from breakthrough to breakthrough? Maybe you just feel plain defeated, like this whole Jesus thing isn't really going ANYwhere.

Every time you turn around it's something else! Or maybe it's the same thing.

I've felt that way too. 

But what I realized not that long ago from a post on IG is that while I was crying "Jesus! More of You less of me!!!" He was crying the something quite similar: "Ventura!!! More of you! I already gave you ALL of ME!"

So the way to move your mountain isn't MORE JESUS. You have ALL of Him. The way to move your mountain is to give Him more of YOU! EVERYTHING!

You go to church and you sing "I surrender aaallll!!!" And "I give myself awaaaaayyyyy!!!!" And even "NOT MY WILL BUT YOURS, LORD!" But EVERY time there is an opportunity outside the walls of corporate worship to choose His will above yours, you FLAKE!

Hmm. Did that sting a little? Make you cringe? Feel like a punch in the gut? Yeah. That's called conviction. And you haven't felt it in a while. Or maybe you've felt its evil cousin condemnation. There is a difference. 

Conviction is a means to an end. It is the tugging of the Holy Spirit to ignite change in your life. It is a Godly sorrow that leads to repentance. 

Condemnation is a passing of judgement. A decision that what you did is unredeemable and beyond forgiveness.

The Holy Spirit convicts. Our enemy, satan, condemns.

So if you are feeling condemned go read Romans 8. 

If you are feeling convicted go read Romans 6.

We have to get away from this feel good Christianity. It's not gonna always feeeeeellll good when you are presenting your members as instruments of righteousness. Especially since they are used to being used for unrighteousness. 

For example. Say you grew up

In England where the driver is on the right side instead of the left. You learned to drive there and did so for about 20 years. Fast forward to today. You're older and you've never driven from a left side drivers seat in your life. But now you've moved to America for a new job and that's the way it is. And for you it's extra awkward, uncomfortable and even frustrating at times because everything is backwards. You have to learn new traffic signals and speed limits. All while commuting to your new job who didn't find it beneficial to give you an easy work load for your transition. Now you have to learn to shift gears and do turn signals with opposite hands than you're already auto tuned to. Sometimes you feel like an idiot and that you have to learn to drive all over again. You have to reposition your members to do the same things but in a different order and a different way. 

Now you wouldn't think it strange to give that guy some grace if you were carpooling with him. But you would want him to learn eventually to do it right. And the only way he could is if he practiced, maybe he will relearn in a lot fewer than 20 years, but still it takes work. 

But when it comes to this Christian walk we have a different standard. We expect God to do some magic trick on us. Or conduct our every move away from sin. That is not the case, dear ones. 

We are given a new heart. All things are made clean and new in us when we are born again. But repentance isn't a one time thing. We must continually and consistently turn away from sin. The difference in a sinner and a saint is a sinner pursues sin and a saint pursues righteousness. 

So you keep going around the same mountain because while your heart has changed your pursuit hasn't shifted in that certain area. 

Instead of pursuing God when your money is funny, you pursue more hours at work or tell your boss "I mean I can miss one Sunday of church." Or think to yourself I need these tithe money now. You think yourself out of the situation instead of pursing the word of God on the topic. 

Or maybe when you are emotional instead of seeking God or looking for a righteous way to deal with your emotions you go to your safe place. Maybe that's venting to your friends, or lashing out on social media. Or maybe that's dipping back to your ex or turning on a little pornography. Sex relieves stress after all, right? 

What about when someone at work or home makes you mad? I mean just steps on your toes and gets you heated. Do you run to the word that says a soft answer turns away wrath or do you jump to gossip about that person or go off on them immediately?

Do you have the tendency of laying your new life aside when circumstances come to shake you up? 

Listen, honey, you will never be victorious if you keep on presenting the members of your body (your mouth, your mind, your legs) for unrighteousness. CONTROL YOURSELF and pick up the Bible! You know. That book you couldn't get enough of when you first found Jesus that now sits in your car waiting for Sunday morning to roll around?!

There are a couple of common themes in Jesus' ministry. For one, the word often says "He had compassion on them so he healed them." Before Jesus healed on several accounts compassion preceded the miracle. So you must know that Jesus indeed loves you. He feels a deep passion concerning His people and seeing them set free, healed, delivered. 

Second, when Jesus healed people before and after He made sure they knew to go and sin no more. He actually told one guy who He saw a week after He healed him to stop sinning or something worse would happen to him! Jesus took holiness just as serious as He took our breakthroughs. 

So, I urge you, let your next break through be the last of that chapter. Stop going around the same mountain. Pass the test. Surrender that area to Jesus. Stop pursuing sin and present your members as agents of righteousness. Take ACTION concerning your walk with God. You have faith, now put it to work. Put yourself to work. Get free, test out of the minor league so that God can use you!!! ALL of you!

Do You Believe in God?

I don't want much out of life. Just to live. Really live. To love. I mean really love. And to please God. Because I truly believe He is worth pleasing.

People ask if I believe God is real. I sometimes ask myself the same question. I mean, do I really believe this thing? 5 years and 2 months in, I must believe this is the best way to live. Maybe the only way.

But what actually happens here? What do I do? How can I truly LIVE like I believe this thing? Whole heartedly. Forever.

I mean, people are dying for the advancement of the God of Jesus Christ. Being tortured and killed everyday since Jesus walked this earth. And I can't say no to a cookie or to Twitter after dark?

They say anyone can be a martyr in an instance. It's easy to give your life on a whim, when you don't have much think time.

But who is willing to give their life everyday? Who is willing to lie down and die to sin every hour when the emotional high isn't there and the reward isn't immediately tangible, or even imaginable?

Who can stand in the day of trouble, in the wake of temptation, and choose to martyr their hopes, their desires, their wants, and their pride with the hope that it will all be worth it.

Can you?

Can I?

Well. I will. Because I believe. I don't believe there is any other option. I believe the Bible. Because it's been right too many times not to. I believe God loves me, because He has proven Himself time and time and time again. I mean, who else could it be? Who else paid my bills when I had no money? It wasn't you. Who else comforted me when I had no one? Who else doesn't reject me when I'm vulnerable? Who else made a solution for my total depravity?

Who else?

So, how can I not? How can we not LIVE what we talk about? I don't mean just not being a classic hypocrite. I don't mean I went to the club Saturday and church Sunday. I don't mean you shouting in church and then cussing someone out. It's obvious what's going on there.

I mean deeper than that. I mean us Christians who live EVERYDAY worried, stressed, depressed and anxious. I mean pastors and deacons and worship leaders who are experiencing these things. I mean seasoned Christians who have seen God bring them through time and time again. Those of us who know the faithfulness of God but have began to believe the report of the enemy.

We preach about, sing songs about and counsel others on second chances, grace, love, faithfulness and WE are the ones who have a hard time believing. And it's evident. Because we are defeated. We live in defeat. We would rather fight for another without first armoring ourselves.

Newsflash. Our fight won't last long because before we know it we will be taken out by our own unbelief.

So, what do you do? What do you do when you feel depressed? What do yo do when you feel anxious? What do you do when you are overwhelmed, when things don't go your way, when all the odds are against you? What do you do when you have financial troubles, when you feel deserted, when you need confidence, when you feel condemned, when you are doubting God?

Do you believe in God? Do you believe the Bible is true? Do you believe that Jesus died to pay the cost of your sin? Do you truly believe there is no other way to live?

Then live like it.

Nothing and no one else satisfies.

I don't know about you, but

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; HE IS A SHIELD TO ALL WHO TRUST IN HIM. Psalm 18:30

Finally Single

Soooooo...to be completely transparent, I want a man! I want to be pursued! I want somebody texting my phone and trying to come see me! I want to finally be in a relationship. I want to know what it's like! I honestly didn't even realize this! I THOUGHT I was content! I thought I didn't want a man! Why? Because I ALWAYS had one texting my phone and calling me and being my friend. I was being very disobedient because God BEEN done, yes, been done, told me that was bad for business.

What if my could be husband did try to talk to me but he seen I was constantly text Bob, Joe and Abram??? HOW can God send me a man when the spot is ALWAYS FILLED?!!! I was chanting "No randoms!!" because I wasn't dating anyone or sleeping with anyone, but I was USING my brothers in Christ to fill a void that only Christ can fill!

Smh.

So, here am I, brothers and sisters, letting you know for real for real, I'm tryna get a ring. Smh. Such a sad story.

I THOUGHT I was single, but in my heart I was not!

Upon this revelation of my heart, I immediately went to the Lord and prayed. I write prayers a lot, so I was writing it on my phone and I thought, man, this might help somebody! So, here it is, raw and real.

"I wanna be pursued!!! I want to have someone to text! I want a MAN on my team for once! Help me Jesus to give these desires to you and not let them consume me! Give me the patience to wait and the heart to want to please You more than wanting this. All in your way and in your timing, Lord. You are good and I know you have plans to prosper me and bring me that one of a kind love! And I know that if You want me, knowing me at my worst, that any man who doesn't want me is not for me. Help me to keep my worth ever before my eyes and to see myself through Your vision and not my own! Help me to see the ways in which you are pursuing my heart and showing me how it's done!!! Teach me to be submissive to Your Holy Spirit so that I will be a wife who knows how to be covered well. Show me what true love is so that when it comes to me I will recognize it and when the counterfeits come I will turn away! Help me to accomplish the dreams you have put in my heart during this season. I wanna court YOU Jesus! Remind me what romance is like and show me the truth of who I am. Love on me, Jesus, for you know best how I am to be loved. Lord, I devote my singleness to you. I don't want to want anything more than I want You. This is Your time to shape me, mold me, mend me, heal me, anoint me and exalt me. Make me who You want me to be. Rid me of my selfishness. Make me more loving, kind, and patient. In Your name I pray."

So, please, don't be like me and STOP acting like you don't want a man! You can say it all you want to your friends like I used to, but it won't change it! It's ok to want it, but it's never ok to want something more than you want God. Take that desire to Him and watch Him fulfill it! And if I call or text your phone talking bout some "I want a man like this" and blah blah blah, PLEASE tell me to shut up! Lol. WE have to STOP enabling each other, people!!! It's alright to know what you want and talk to one another about it; but when we singles are constantly talking about what we want in the next season, we will not enjoy this one!

So when your friend, male or female, comes talking to you about somebody, PLEASE, DON'T ENTERTAIN THEM!!! Now you KNOW that man or woman ain't for them, so WHY are you agreeing with everything they say and telling them to go for it??? Please, be helpers to one another and SHUT IT DOWN! REAL FRIENDS SAY NOOOOOO!!!

Point your friend to Jesus and the Bible and prayer! If God didn't speak that "advice" to you then do not share it. Unless the Lord parted the heavens and told you that's your homegirl's husband, do not giggle and help her pick apart everything he said to her. You might not be hurting her feelings, but you are playing a part in breaking her heart when that man walks into church with another woman! STOP being a PEOPLE PLEASER and be a GOD PLEASER. When you see your friend being crazy and planning her wedding to a man who has not even noticed her, please, love her by letting her know she is doing the most and she needs to focus on the Lord, give that to Him and let Him keep it until that man PURSUES her. (And I mean PURSUE with stated intentions, not saying hi or giving her a church hug. But that's a whole different blog.)

All that to say, praise God! I finally understand some more things now that I re-devoted my singleness to God. He truly is the best husband ever. Perfect even.

And now you know. Lol. I hope that this helped you and that it helps me! And if you need a listening ear, or you HAVE a listening ear please email me at ventura.ivory@gmail.com. Unless you're a man. Then don't email me at all. Email a brother, please. Lol.

Sincerely,
Your Finally Single Sister Ventura

Look Beyond Yourself Sometimes!

You know. I always look at these people who have degrees and children and people who have lost weight and gotten fit. Or people who walk in such power when they sing or preach or write. I realized that these people did stuff! It's HARD WORK earning a degree. Maybe they make it look easy; but that is not so.

You look at these people and you think "Man that's so awesome! I wanna be like them!!!" And you begin to COVET their PORTION. But you only want their portion of BLESSING. You want the FRUIT but you don't want the WORK. You don't know their story, their struggle or the heartache and pain it took to get where they are.

I would watch sermons and hear women preach and I would ask God to make me like them. But I quickly learned that prayer was not a good idea! Some people have gone through horrific things that I can't even imagine going through to get where they are! So stop wishing you were like somebody else! God has given you the portion just for you. The struggles, pangs, happiness and joys of life that you grow through were picked for you to make you stronger. GOD CHOSE YOU because the struggle you are in is not ALL ABOUT YOU!!!

I know, I know, how is it NOT about YOU?? YOU are the one with cancer. YOU are the one who got pregnant in high school. YOU are the one who was raped, hurt, abused, talked about, lied on, discouraged and mistreated. HOW is this not about ME?!!!

Let me tell you a story...

JESUS went through the UNimaginable. The undeserved horror that He experienced was awful. But out of LOVE He did it. He made it. He conquered it. Why? Because He understood that it was NOT about HIM.

God is taking you THROUGH THIS because there is someone NOW or DOWN THE ROAD who NEEDS your SACRIFICE.

God wants to teach you what it is really like to love. I'm always taken aback when I talk to women who have been through things that I know nothing about. I'm like, I don't know what to say to you! Thank God for the Holy Spirit who knows EVERYTHING; but it gets tricky when you cannot directly relate. And THEN God will send me someone who has been through a similar situation and I'm like WOW God!

For example, I've experienced a TON of rejection in my life. So when I can help someone who has been rejected overcome that fear, man. It is SO satisfying! And I can be like "Wow! God I THANK YOU for all the times I was REJECTED because it has allowed me to FREE SOMEONE ELSE!"

That's why I write in this blog! That's why I have confessed to all of you about my struggles with lust, rejection, fear and everything else. Why? Because God has taught me that the things I go through are not just about me!

That's why Peter said we REJOICE in suffering because like Christ we have the honor of suffering for the glory of God and for the salvation of others.

So I exhort you in these things:

1. STOP COVETING SOMEONE ELSE'S PORTION! You don't know their struggle! Be careful what you wish you had because you do not wish to go through what that person went through to get it. You see that person's amazing ministry or beautiful family or well paid job or delightful look when they hold their child, but what you did not see was the pain that they experienced during the birth of that thing. EVERYBODY wants a cute little kid to play with but NOBODY wants to go through LABOR! So think of that when you start to want someone else's life: Am I really willing to go through what they went through to get it? Eh, probably not. BE CONTENT with your portion and learn to MASTER your own temptations!

2. TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOU AND PUT THEM ON JESUS! Realize that what you are going through isn't all about you. But when you focus on YOU that's all you will see! When you are hurting or tempted to be depressed or angry FOCUS on the CROSS! FOCUS on where you're going not what you're feeling! FORGIVE somebody!!! Jesus died for what they did to you too!