Do You Believe in God?

I don't want much out of life. Just to live. Really live. To love. I mean really love. And to please God. Because I truly believe He is worth pleasing.

People ask if I believe God is real. I sometimes ask myself the same question. I mean, do I really believe this thing? 5 years and 2 months in, I must believe this is the best way to live. Maybe the only way.

But what actually happens here? What do I do? How can I truly LIVE like I believe this thing? Whole heartedly. Forever.

I mean, people are dying for the advancement of the God of Jesus Christ. Being tortured and killed everyday since Jesus walked this earth. And I can't say no to a cookie or to Twitter after dark?

They say anyone can be a martyr in an instance. It's easy to give your life on a whim, when you don't have much think time.

But who is willing to give their life everyday? Who is willing to lie down and die to sin every hour when the emotional high isn't there and the reward isn't immediately tangible, or even imaginable?

Who can stand in the day of trouble, in the wake of temptation, and choose to martyr their hopes, their desires, their wants, and their pride with the hope that it will all be worth it.

Can you?

Can I?

Well. I will. Because I believe. I don't believe there is any other option. I believe the Bible. Because it's been right too many times not to. I believe God loves me, because He has proven Himself time and time and time again. I mean, who else could it be? Who else paid my bills when I had no money? It wasn't you. Who else comforted me when I had no one? Who else doesn't reject me when I'm vulnerable? Who else made a solution for my total depravity?

Who else?

So, how can I not? How can we not LIVE what we talk about? I don't mean just not being a classic hypocrite. I don't mean I went to the club Saturday and church Sunday. I don't mean you shouting in church and then cussing someone out. It's obvious what's going on there.

I mean deeper than that. I mean us Christians who live EVERYDAY worried, stressed, depressed and anxious. I mean pastors and deacons and worship leaders who are experiencing these things. I mean seasoned Christians who have seen God bring them through time and time again. Those of us who know the faithfulness of God but have began to believe the report of the enemy.

We preach about, sing songs about and counsel others on second chances, grace, love, faithfulness and WE are the ones who have a hard time believing. And it's evident. Because we are defeated. We live in defeat. We would rather fight for another without first armoring ourselves.

Newsflash. Our fight won't last long because before we know it we will be taken out by our own unbelief.

So, what do you do? What do you do when you feel depressed? What do yo do when you feel anxious? What do you do when you are overwhelmed, when things don't go your way, when all the odds are against you? What do you do when you have financial troubles, when you feel deserted, when you need confidence, when you feel condemned, when you are doubting God?

Do you believe in God? Do you believe the Bible is true? Do you believe that Jesus died to pay the cost of your sin? Do you truly believe there is no other way to live?

Then live like it.

Nothing and no one else satisfies.

I don't know about you, but

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; HE IS A SHIELD TO ALL WHO TRUST IN HIM. Psalm 18:30

Finally Single

Soooooo...to be completely transparent, I want a man! I want to be pursued! I want somebody texting my phone and trying to come see me! I want to finally be in a relationship. I want to know what it's like! I honestly didn't even realize this! I THOUGHT I was content! I thought I didn't want a man! Why? Because I ALWAYS had one texting my phone and calling me and being my friend. I was being very disobedient because God BEEN done, yes, been done, told me that was bad for business.

What if my could be husband did try to talk to me but he seen I was constantly text Bob, Joe and Abram??? HOW can God send me a man when the spot is ALWAYS FILLED?!!! I was chanting "No randoms!!" because I wasn't dating anyone or sleeping with anyone, but I was USING my brothers in Christ to fill a void that only Christ can fill!

Smh.

So, here am I, brothers and sisters, letting you know for real for real, I'm tryna get a ring. Smh. Such a sad story.

I THOUGHT I was single, but in my heart I was not!

Upon this revelation of my heart, I immediately went to the Lord and prayed. I write prayers a lot, so I was writing it on my phone and I thought, man, this might help somebody! So, here it is, raw and real.

"I wanna be pursued!!! I want to have someone to text! I want a MAN on my team for once! Help me Jesus to give these desires to you and not let them consume me! Give me the patience to wait and the heart to want to please You more than wanting this. All in your way and in your timing, Lord. You are good and I know you have plans to prosper me and bring me that one of a kind love! And I know that if You want me, knowing me at my worst, that any man who doesn't want me is not for me. Help me to keep my worth ever before my eyes and to see myself through Your vision and not my own! Help me to see the ways in which you are pursuing my heart and showing me how it's done!!! Teach me to be submissive to Your Holy Spirit so that I will be a wife who knows how to be covered well. Show me what true love is so that when it comes to me I will recognize it and when the counterfeits come I will turn away! Help me to accomplish the dreams you have put in my heart during this season. I wanna court YOU Jesus! Remind me what romance is like and show me the truth of who I am. Love on me, Jesus, for you know best how I am to be loved. Lord, I devote my singleness to you. I don't want to want anything more than I want You. This is Your time to shape me, mold me, mend me, heal me, anoint me and exalt me. Make me who You want me to be. Rid me of my selfishness. Make me more loving, kind, and patient. In Your name I pray."

So, please, don't be like me and STOP acting like you don't want a man! You can say it all you want to your friends like I used to, but it won't change it! It's ok to want it, but it's never ok to want something more than you want God. Take that desire to Him and watch Him fulfill it! And if I call or text your phone talking bout some "I want a man like this" and blah blah blah, PLEASE tell me to shut up! Lol. WE have to STOP enabling each other, people!!! It's alright to know what you want and talk to one another about it; but when we singles are constantly talking about what we want in the next season, we will not enjoy this one!

So when your friend, male or female, comes talking to you about somebody, PLEASE, DON'T ENTERTAIN THEM!!! Now you KNOW that man or woman ain't for them, so WHY are you agreeing with everything they say and telling them to go for it??? Please, be helpers to one another and SHUT IT DOWN! REAL FRIENDS SAY NOOOOOO!!!

Point your friend to Jesus and the Bible and prayer! If God didn't speak that "advice" to you then do not share it. Unless the Lord parted the heavens and told you that's your homegirl's husband, do not giggle and help her pick apart everything he said to her. You might not be hurting her feelings, but you are playing a part in breaking her heart when that man walks into church with another woman! STOP being a PEOPLE PLEASER and be a GOD PLEASER. When you see your friend being crazy and planning her wedding to a man who has not even noticed her, please, love her by letting her know she is doing the most and she needs to focus on the Lord, give that to Him and let Him keep it until that man PURSUES her. (And I mean PURSUE with stated intentions, not saying hi or giving her a church hug. But that's a whole different blog.)

All that to say, praise God! I finally understand some more things now that I re-devoted my singleness to God. He truly is the best husband ever. Perfect even.

And now you know. Lol. I hope that this helped you and that it helps me! And if you need a listening ear, or you HAVE a listening ear please email me at ventura.ivory@gmail.com. Unless you're a man. Then don't email me at all. Email a brother, please. Lol.

Sincerely,
Your Finally Single Sister Ventura

Look Beyond Yourself Sometimes!

You know. I always look at these people who have degrees and children and people who have lost weight and gotten fit. Or people who walk in such power when they sing or preach or write. I realized that these people did stuff! It's HARD WORK earning a degree. Maybe they make it look easy; but that is not so.

You look at these people and you think "Man that's so awesome! I wanna be like them!!!" And you begin to COVET their PORTION. But you only want their portion of BLESSING. You want the FRUIT but you don't want the WORK. You don't know their story, their struggle or the heartache and pain it took to get where they are.

I would watch sermons and hear women preach and I would ask God to make me like them. But I quickly learned that prayer was not a good idea! Some people have gone through horrific things that I can't even imagine going through to get where they are! So stop wishing you were like somebody else! God has given you the portion just for you. The struggles, pangs, happiness and joys of life that you grow through were picked for you to make you stronger. GOD CHOSE YOU because the struggle you are in is not ALL ABOUT YOU!!!

I know, I know, how is it NOT about YOU?? YOU are the one with cancer. YOU are the one who got pregnant in high school. YOU are the one who was raped, hurt, abused, talked about, lied on, discouraged and mistreated. HOW is this not about ME?!!!

Let me tell you a story...

JESUS went through the UNimaginable. The undeserved horror that He experienced was awful. But out of LOVE He did it. He made it. He conquered it. Why? Because He understood that it was NOT about HIM.

God is taking you THROUGH THIS because there is someone NOW or DOWN THE ROAD who NEEDS your SACRIFICE.

God wants to teach you what it is really like to love. I'm always taken aback when I talk to women who have been through things that I know nothing about. I'm like, I don't know what to say to you! Thank God for the Holy Spirit who knows EVERYTHING; but it gets tricky when you cannot directly relate. And THEN God will send me someone who has been through a similar situation and I'm like WOW God!

For example, I've experienced a TON of rejection in my life. So when I can help someone who has been rejected overcome that fear, man. It is SO satisfying! And I can be like "Wow! God I THANK YOU for all the times I was REJECTED because it has allowed me to FREE SOMEONE ELSE!"

That's why I write in this blog! That's why I have confessed to all of you about my struggles with lust, rejection, fear and everything else. Why? Because God has taught me that the things I go through are not just about me!

That's why Peter said we REJOICE in suffering because like Christ we have the honor of suffering for the glory of God and for the salvation of others.

So I exhort you in these things:

1. STOP COVETING SOMEONE ELSE'S PORTION! You don't know their struggle! Be careful what you wish you had because you do not wish to go through what that person went through to get it. You see that person's amazing ministry or beautiful family or well paid job or delightful look when they hold their child, but what you did not see was the pain that they experienced during the birth of that thing. EVERYBODY wants a cute little kid to play with but NOBODY wants to go through LABOR! So think of that when you start to want someone else's life: Am I really willing to go through what they went through to get it? Eh, probably not. BE CONTENT with your portion and learn to MASTER your own temptations!

2. TAKE YOUR EYES OFF YOU AND PUT THEM ON JESUS! Realize that what you are going through isn't all about you. But when you focus on YOU that's all you will see! When you are hurting or tempted to be depressed or angry FOCUS on the CROSS! FOCUS on where you're going not what you're feeling! FORGIVE somebody!!! Jesus died for what they did to you too!

Ventura Ivory at Women in Red-Unity Chapel 2014

"Whoa! Dream Big!" :: A Commentary on Submission

I remember I was at a retreat with my church. I remember hearing all about marriage and submission. I remember being taught that my mission as a wife was to help my husband. I remember also being very young in the faith and just young period at this time. So, I went to my pastor’s wife and asked her with all the sincerity in my heart, for I was truly concerned, “What am I supposed to do until he gets here?”

She looked at me sort of puzzled as she advised me to follow the path God had for me. She said some other helpful things that I do not recall, but what I remember most is that it seemed as if she was surprised that I had some idea that there was nothing for me to do! But I really did not understand.

There are so many extremes on submission in the church. I grew up in a holiness church where men and women alike would preach from the pulpit and minister to congregations and even be senior pastors. I’ve also served in churches where that did not happen at all. I’ve even been told I could not lead a ministry because I am a woman. All of this on top of coming from a background of women whose men abused their strengths by hurting the women they were supposed to love whether with words or with fists. So, it’s safe to say I’ve been around the way when it comes to the idea of submission.

From a young girl seeing my mother get jumped on by my dad during the short while he was in our home I decided that I would never let a man run me. Not I. No. And thank God that I’ve never actually been in love so that this inner vow hasn’t backfired like it has on most women. But that day at the retreat my born again heart was truly curious as to what a woman is supposed to do without a man. Especially since what I was being taught seemed so contradictory.

They would say don’t be so consumed with finding a husband, he’s supposed to find you, just serve the Lord until he comes, and all that jazz. And I’m like ok, cool. Don’t worry about a man, focus on God. And then comes the other lessons about submission and how a woman is made to be a helpmeet. These teachers talked so highly of being a helpmeet that I wondered if I’m made to do that what am I supposed to do in the mean time?

Is this making sense? I was trying to not focus on wanting a husband while focusing on becoming ready to be a wife. That just don’t make no sense in my head. Maybe I’m alone in this?

Well, it wasn’t working. And I soon found myself playing a waiting game and believing God for a man. I was praying to God asking Him to make me a better helpmeet. I was preparing myself to give it all up to help some man with his dream and his ministry. Boy, did I feel noble. I was surely like Jesus now, willing to sacrifice it all. I was sure that I finally understood submission when I was ready to give up all my dreams to help this man with his ministry.

Long story short, I was wrong again.

I mean, this man was going on to do something COMPLETELY unlike the life I wanted and the desires I knew that were from God. He needed someone who would stay at home and care for his kids and all that jazz. Not that I don’t want to do that. But God had/has something so different in my heart. I want to be ablaze spiting the fire of God from my big mouth all over the world, not sitting at home while my husband travels and spreads the gospel. There’s nothing wrong with staying at home, but my heart yearns to travel and preach.

I believed that submission meant giving up all of my dreams and goals to help my one-day husband accomplish his. That way of thinking was only half true. Yes, I am called to help a man one day, in God's timing. However, my helping him, though it will involve sacrifice, as all true love does, will not cause me to release God's plan for my life. I will not have to evict my dreams to make room in my heart for his dreams.

Ladies, submission does not belittle us, it empowers us. Submission does not muzzle us, it strengthens us. I encourage you to practice submitting to the Holy Spirit and you will learn, like me, that submitting one to another is in our best interest!

Besides, the man God has for you, and for me, man, our dreams will be one in the same and we will each play a vital part in bringing those dreams into reality.

So stop WAITING around to tailor your dreams to somebody else’s. DREAM!!! DREAM BIG!!! And believe God that your future mate will have the same dreams as you! And if a guy comes along that doesn’t, he might as well move around.

1 Corinthians 7:34b-35

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. ³⁵ I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Hey Y'all!!!

Discussion Topics for Remarkable Wisdom



Hello all!!!



So I have stumbled upon this internet radio business. I've been told that I need to be heard, and if you read my blog you already know I have A LOT to say about pretty much EVERYTHING.



However, I would love YOUR input on what to discuss on the show. I want to bring light and biblical wisdom to everyday topics and things that we deal with as people. Please go to this link and vote on the topics you're most interested in and I will do my best to bring a lively, humorous truth to said topic!



Thanks! Love you!

PSA: For Young Christian Singles ONLY

Let me tell you a story.

I have a really bad habit of wasting my heart. Picture the woman with the alabaster jar times like 12. I love to spill my love on Jesus, yes, more than anything. But, I also have a horrible record of spilling my love on men who didn’t deserve or even want it. I would leave with a long face and a shattered heart, rejected and confused.

But about a year ago, God explained it all to me. I knew my worth, but I was not wise with it. I was not walking in it. I was spilling my love on a man who wasn’t at all for me, didn’t want me and didn’t have the capacity to understand my worth because I was not his and I wasn’t going to be. After doing this for months I finally got set free from the spirit of rejection that seriously harassed me for years and years. And years! And it finally exploded with this guy and my pastor told me that I was wasting my heart. I was so convicted.

Since then, I’ve been trying to learn how to be hidden in Christ. How to truly guard my heart and love at the same time. Love anyone and everyone. But, here’s the thing. Maybe I’m some special breed of woman, but I just can’t be close to a man without catching feelings. It’s statistically been a fail across the timeline of my life. I’m too generous, my heart is too big and I am too zealous to set reasonable boundaries. I mean, I have men that I’m friends with, but they are in my outer courts. I don’t text them every day. I don’t talk to them even every week. We know each other, but we have boundaries. Some we set in place and most are just there without having to set them.

I used to think I was a weirdo. I thought, what kind of crazy woman is always catching feelings for somebody? What do you want from me, God??? Want me to be a NUN? Want me to hide from every brother in Christ I see? Not talk to them? Be rude? What can I DO to not waste my heart ANYMORE??!!!

I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did (yes I sung that to the Backstreet Boys tune) you're NOT exempt from catching feelings for your brother or sister in Christ!

Guard your heart. From out of it FLOW all the ISSUES of life! You don't need to be letting all your issues flow all over the place in an intimate conversation in the middle of the night. Talkin' bout some "I was ministering to her."

Boy, please.

You're a MAN! Yes, you're saved. No, you not trying to hook up. But you must be WISE. I don't care who the woman is or what kind of excuse she uses, if she is following God and has a heart of flesh, she want you or she wouldn't be paying you any attention. I know this. I'm a woman!

I used to think I was special. Some kind of over dramatic woman who would fall for anybody. But that's not true. We are all essentially the same. So, beloved brothers, here are some things you oughta know.

***These are things that pertain to God fearing women. If the woman you talking to is not saved you need to let that GO! Immediately.

1. We want someone who will make us feel special. (Yes, she feels special because she cannot see all the other people, men and women alike, that you have in your inbox along with her.)

2. We want someone who can point us towards Jesus. (YES, it is MUCHO attractive to us that you love the Lord more than anything or anyone! We love it! Ask any woman. You can be as ugly as you wanna be, but if you preaching the WORD! You just got real fine. I'm telling the truth in this place.)

3. We want a man that is easy to respect. (We may act salty when you rebuke or point out our sin, but on the inside we want to submit to that! Be careful if she is practicing submission on you. She tryna get wifed up.)

4. We want someone who loves his mama! (Just please, be easy on the family details. If she is coming to your house and hanging out with your mama, she already grafted herself into your family in her head. Yes, that sounds crazy to you. But us women are in it to win it. If your mother is mentoring some young women in your church, don't take to them to quick. Cause they will have you claimed in a hot second. Just so you know.)

Now, these aren't things that are your fault, men. You're pursuing God, so you're gonna be awesome! Just be wise with who you share it with. And be aware that just as often as men are tempted with sex, we are tempted to spill our love and will get MAD when it's not reciprocated. Why? I have no idea. Ask the Lord. And let me know what you find out.

Ladies, I'm not a man. But I can tell you what I've been through. You need to guard your heart. Do not be afraid to set boundaries for yourself. PLEASE!!! Listen to the HOLY SPIRIT and cut off that one guy friend who is just a little too close and whose last name you already matched with yours to see if it's doable. Don't play me. You know what I'm talking about. Please, don't waste the treasure that you are on a man that is not your husband or future husband. The man God has for you will treasure you more than you can fathom. We have already processed how to keep our legs closed, now let's be emotionally pure as well!

Everybody wants to tell us how to not have sex! But, ladies, let's be real, most of us are past that and it is time to go on to maturity! You know better! This is not about legalism. So stop blaming it on the law and break that emotional tie. That's where it starts for us. We have given up having sex for pleasure, but if that man you've been eyeing and connecting with tried to get at you, you're already so emotionally tied up, you'd let him! Yes. I just said that. So, sister, let it go. He's not for you. And it's hard. And it sucks. But you have to break that tie. You have to break that habit. That's something you do not want in your future marriage. Get intimate with God and all other intimacies will pale in comparison.

So, I'm done with this post. Ladies, if you need prayer over that emotional tie, please call me and I WILL PRAY WITH YOU!

Gentlemen, read a book or two and learn how to guard your sister's hearts. Don't be afraid to say hey girl, you don't need to be telling me all that! Boundaries are not the law. All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. Be wise. Please.

Song of Solomon says THREE times:

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Vv. 2:7, 2:5, 8:4

Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23, 24