PSA: For Young Christian Singles ONLY

Let me tell you a story.

I have a really bad habit of wasting my heart. Picture the woman with the alabaster jar times like 12. I love to spill my love on Jesus, yes, more than anything. But, I also have a horrible record of spilling my love on men who didn’t deserve or even want it. I would leave with a long face and a shattered heart, rejected and confused.

But about a year ago, God explained it all to me. I knew my worth, but I was not wise with it. I was not walking in it. I was spilling my love on a man who wasn’t at all for me, didn’t want me and didn’t have the capacity to understand my worth because I was not his and I wasn’t going to be. After doing this for months I finally got set free from the spirit of rejection that seriously harassed me for years and years. And years! And it finally exploded with this guy and my pastor told me that I was wasting my heart. I was so convicted.

Since then, I’ve been trying to learn how to be hidden in Christ. How to truly guard my heart and love at the same time. Love anyone and everyone. But, here’s the thing. Maybe I’m some special breed of woman, but I just can’t be close to a man without catching feelings. It’s statistically been a fail across the timeline of my life. I’m too generous, my heart is too big and I am too zealous to set reasonable boundaries. I mean, I have men that I’m friends with, but they are in my outer courts. I don’t text them every day. I don’t talk to them even every week. We know each other, but we have boundaries. Some we set in place and most are just there without having to set them.

I used to think I was a weirdo. I thought, what kind of crazy woman is always catching feelings for somebody? What do you want from me, God??? Want me to be a NUN? Want me to hide from every brother in Christ I see? Not talk to them? Be rude? What can I DO to not waste my heart ANYMORE??!!!

I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did (yes I sung that to the Backstreet Boys tune) you're NOT exempt from catching feelings for your brother or sister in Christ!

Guard your heart. From out of it FLOW all the ISSUES of life! You don't need to be letting all your issues flow all over the place in an intimate conversation in the middle of the night. Talkin' bout some "I was ministering to her."

Boy, please.

You're a MAN! Yes, you're saved. No, you not trying to hook up. But you must be WISE. I don't care who the woman is or what kind of excuse she uses, if she is following God and has a heart of flesh, she want you or she wouldn't be paying you any attention. I know this. I'm a woman!

I used to think I was special. Some kind of over dramatic woman who would fall for anybody. But that's not true. We are all essentially the same. So, beloved brothers, here are some things you oughta know.

***These are things that pertain to God fearing women. If the woman you talking to is not saved you need to let that GO! Immediately.

1. We want someone who will make us feel special. (Yes, she feels special because she cannot see all the other people, men and women alike, that you have in your inbox along with her.)

2. We want someone who can point us towards Jesus. (YES, it is MUCHO attractive to us that you love the Lord more than anything or anyone! We love it! Ask any woman. You can be as ugly as you wanna be, but if you preaching the WORD! You just got real fine. I'm telling the truth in this place.)

3. We want a man that is easy to respect. (We may act salty when you rebuke or point out our sin, but on the inside we want to submit to that! Be careful if she is practicing submission on you. She tryna get wifed up.)

4. We want someone who loves his mama! (Just please, be easy on the family details. If she is coming to your house and hanging out with your mama, she already grafted herself into your family in her head. Yes, that sounds crazy to you. But us women are in it to win it. If your mother is mentoring some young women in your church, don't take to them to quick. Cause they will have you claimed in a hot second. Just so you know.)

Now, these aren't things that are your fault, men. You're pursuing God, so you're gonna be awesome! Just be wise with who you share it with. And be aware that just as often as men are tempted with sex, we are tempted to spill our love and will get MAD when it's not reciprocated. Why? I have no idea. Ask the Lord. And let me know what you find out.

Ladies, I'm not a man. But I can tell you what I've been through. You need to guard your heart. Do not be afraid to set boundaries for yourself. PLEASE!!! Listen to the HOLY SPIRIT and cut off that one guy friend who is just a little too close and whose last name you already matched with yours to see if it's doable. Don't play me. You know what I'm talking about. Please, don't waste the treasure that you are on a man that is not your husband or future husband. The man God has for you will treasure you more than you can fathom. We have already processed how to keep our legs closed, now let's be emotionally pure as well!

Everybody wants to tell us how to not have sex! But, ladies, let's be real, most of us are past that and it is time to go on to maturity! You know better! This is not about legalism. So stop blaming it on the law and break that emotional tie. That's where it starts for us. We have given up having sex for pleasure, but if that man you've been eyeing and connecting with tried to get at you, you're already so emotionally tied up, you'd let him! Yes. I just said that. So, sister, let it go. He's not for you. And it's hard. And it sucks. But you have to break that tie. You have to break that habit. That's something you do not want in your future marriage. Get intimate with God and all other intimacies will pale in comparison.

So, I'm done with this post. Ladies, if you need prayer over that emotional tie, please call me and I WILL PRAY WITH YOU!

Gentlemen, read a book or two and learn how to guard your sister's hearts. Don't be afraid to say hey girl, you don't need to be telling me all that! Boundaries are not the law. All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. Be wise. Please.

Song of Solomon says THREE times:

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Vv. 2:7, 2:5, 8:4

Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23, 24

The Heart of Worship

I'm sure everybody and they mama got a blog called The Heart of Worship.

Well here's mine. Lol.

People always say things to me about my worship. I even talked about in my blog There's A Story Behind My Praise how there were mock videos made of my extreme worship style. I'm pretty crazy for Jesus. I love Him. That's that. And for more about that please read the blog I wrote before.

There's some more things I want to say about worship.

First of all, worship is a lifestyle not an event.

I mean, people are always gung ho for a worship night, or worship before the sermon once a week on Sundays, but we forget about it the rest of the week. I don't mean just singing some songs and jumping up and down. I don't mean shouting all over the church and lifting your hands, maybe, if the song hits you just right. What I'm talking about is a lifestyle.

We have to learn to offer every part of our lives to God as worship. Before we go to work in the morning saying, "God I offer my work to you today as worship. I worship you with the way I do my job and the way I treat the people I serve and serve with." The same goes for school and running errands, and parenting and the McDonald's drive thru. Lord knows if we had more worshippers in the Panera drive thru on my side of the window and on the other side service would go well.

Because when we do things as worship we do them God's way. When we do things as worship we do them for God, not for us and not for other people.

So who do you worship? Who do you seek to please in your everyday life? Because I seek to please God, my bosses are pleased with me because God is not going to lead me to be lazy, irresponsible or rude.

Secondly, we have got to get away from our "worship preferences."

The way I grew up worshipping was way different that the church I first attended in college which was still very different than the church I was discipled in while I was in college. I've been in all types of worship services. From Negro Spirituals to Catholic hymns, to soulful gospel music to contemporary mainstream Christian worship to Baptist hymnals. I've seen a lot.

When I came to Christ no one had to teach me about worship. I mean, I owe Jesus my life and it somehow clicked in me to worship and sing praises to Him as gratitude. I wasn't shy about it either. I realized that I'm a more intimate worshipper. I like to be in my own zone when I worship. I love corporate worship, but I love my own space. I like the music loud. I like to feel the bass in my chest. I love to sing right to God.

In any worship service you may notice these three types of people. Take a look and see which one you might be. There's two sides to each.

A. The Spectator

This person is too busy seeing what everyone else is doing to focus on God. They are concerned with who is lifting their hands, who is crying, who is shouting and who is sitting down.

On the other hand, a person may be spectating because they are unsure what they are supposed to do. Maybe you're observing because you want to know how you can get to a place of intimate worship as well. I want to tell you this: JUST DO IT. Let the Lord lead you. Practice His presence when you aren't so overwhelmed by a crowd. Worship the Lord in your bedroom or while you wash dishes. There isn't much to this thing. His presence is available everywhere you are because He lives inside of you!

B. The Critic

Ok. Here it is. This person can't get in the presence of God because of their critical attitude. You so worried about if someone is worshipping in Spirit and in truth that you aren't worshipping at all! You got something to say about everybody's worship. If when worship is over you can give a rundown of how sister so and so was faking, then you are the one who's missing it, honey. Stop criticizing and start praising!

This person will not worship if they don't like the songs being sung. They always got something to say about the worship leader or the choir director. I've been this person. For example, there is this church and I know the worship leader did not show fruit of a Christian life. Because of some things that happened, I was completely adversed to worshipping while he was leading. I sat on my seat when I was there. Didn't move a muscle. I said "God how can I worship when I know He ain't right! This is not OK, God. He needs to get right with You. He needs to fear You and understand that just because You show up when he sings doesn't mean he has a place with you in eternity. C'mon, Jesus! Just let me show him Matthew 7:21 ONE TIME!!!"

And did I get rebuked by the Holy Spirit? HECK YEAH! The Spirit spoke to me and told me first of all that worship is not about who is leading, but about who I'm worshipping. Was God still good to me? Didn't He bring me into the marvelous light? In fact, isn't He the one who even gave me discernment in the first place? Then why wasn't I taking what I knew and laying this man at the throne of Jesus instead of judging him and boycotting his position in the church! This wasn't even my church! The Lord brought me down to size and reminded me that I ain't but that far from being where this man was. I was him. I would get up and praise dance and people would worship the Lord and I would walk away unchanged because I was LOST. But He still used me.

Needless to say, I got my butt of that seat and gave God the praise. I repented.

I understand your concern for people and order. It is important to do things decently and in order so that no one is lead astray. But God has a special blessing for you. God wants to take your ability to notice these things and use them for His glory! Get in God's presence and ask Him what His purpose is for this point of view. Use your discernment to edify the body of Christ instead of to tear it down.

C. The Sincere Worshipper

Ok, guys. This person really does love the Lord. If you're the sincere worshipper you really enjoy worshipping the Lord, it is your heart's delight to give Him glory. But sometimes you are inconsiderate of other people. The Bible says that Jesus is looking for true worshippers that worship Him in Spirit AND in TRUTH. (John 4) You are sincere, and God honors that, but it's okay to chill out sometimes.

I know I had an issue with this. I'm just so intense during worship. I'm jumping and I'm screaming and I'm yelling. Then God spoke to me one day and said He ain't deaf! He can hear even the faintest whisper that I speak. It is great to give God your all, but be aware of the people in the room that are spectators and want to see the truth aspect and not just the spirit. You don't have to cry every time you worship. You don't have to shout every time they play your favorite song. Be free to worship by all means, but don't cause someone to stumble because of your high on life.

Granted, sometimes it's just one of those days, man. It's like DO YOU KNOW WHAT GOD DID FOR ME THIS WEEK??!!!!!! Which is fine. But be Biblical. We live a supernatural life, but it is still NATURAL. Sometimes it don't take all that.

And sometimes it does.

Now for you truthers. You are definitely a sincere worshipper, and God hears your heart. But it doesn't hurt to let go of CONTROL sometimes and worship God with your whole HEART and not just your head! Let Him take you there. Do what you've been afraid of doing. LIFT your hands. PRAY in tongues. SING a little louder. Get into it. Hasn't God been good to you? He won't make you weird, He'll make you whole. That breakthrough you're looking for might take some brokenness before you get through. I encourage you to give it your all, whether at church or at home.

Thirdly, just listen to the words.

I've been walking with the Lord for almost 5 years, and it amazes me how many worship songs there are. What a BRAND NEW life and perspective I have! Man, I've been singing Christmas carols since I could talk; but WHO KNEW THEY WERE ABOUT JESUS?!!! I had no clue until I knew who Jesus was! If you're struggling with they style of a song, maybe it's a little slower than you prefer, just listen to the wooorrrdddssss. Man.

For example, some of my family is Baptist. I'm not. I prefer faster songs or more intimate songs. But every time we go to one of there churches they sing this sloooooooooooooowwwwwwwww hymn. Every time. It would stress me out. But instead of being critical I asked God to show me the beauty and worship in it. God began to illuminate to me how the song is about Him as a provider and to meditate on that when we sing it. 

Have you ever actually thought about the songs that you sing during worship? Just think of a common Christmas carol. Let's take God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Here's an excerpt. Go here for the full lyrics.

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

WHAT?!!! Christ was born to save us from Satan's power?!!! Because of that we sing tidings of comfort and joy! This song is about rejoicing because our savior has been born to save us from the power of sin and death?!! How can we not sing this with conviction and joy?!! I'm a little overwhelmed now! The people who wrote these songs were believers who had been waiting and believing for a savior for hundreds of years and He finally came! That's something to sing about! That's a reason to WORSHIP!

Here's one of my FAVORITE hymns!

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise;
Just to know, Thus saith the Lord.

• Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
  How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er,
  Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
    O for grace to trust Him more.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/568#ixzz2rzVG5JcD

So old school BUT SO SO SO GOOOOOODDD!!! I challenge you to look through a hymnal or online hymnal archive and find one that speaks to you so close like this one does to me. Don't think about the tune or the beat, focus on the anointing in the words. Forget the way you prefer things to be sung and listen to the heart of song and Jesus will meet you there.

I love you all!
Grace and peace and an eternity of worshipping our Lord!

Who Gave You the Right?

There's many things I'm passionate about, but there is one thing that just runs me hot and hurts my heart all at once.

Abortion.

I can't handle it. I can't stomach. I can't sit still when I think about it. Not only abortion itself. Not just the fact that someone would even think of the idea. 

What burns me to my core about abortion is the insane lengths people will go through to promote it, sustain it, fund it, represent it and cover it up. If only people would see it for what it really is.

They say politically no one is technically for abortion. But, hey. There's only two ways you can be. For or against. That's what my Bible reads. (P.S. Turning a blind eye to injustice puts you in the for category)

Let's start off with some abortion facts. What is abortion?

Let's copy and paste straight from Merriam-Webster.

abor·tion

 noun \ə-ˈbȯr-shən\

: a medical procedure used to end a pregnancy and cause the death of the fetus

Full Definition of ABORTION

1

:  the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus: as

a :  spontaneous expulsion of a human fetus during the first 12 weeks of gestation — compare miscarriage

b :  induced expulsion of a human fetus

c :  expulsion of a fetus by a domestic animal often due to infection at any time before completion of pregnancy — compare contagious abortion

So there it is. In black and white.

Here's a link to the Planned Parenthood website that shows exactly what happens during an abortion and how much it costs.

Here is a diagram of the Dilation and Evacuation procedure that is described on the site:

I know, right. I don't know about you, but this was graphic for me. Even reading about the procedure...just...whoa.

I suppose the big debate is about when a fetus is considered an actual life with human rights. What do you think?

If we don't stand up for unborn children, who will? The state has no issue becoming involved when a mother wants to terminate her 4 year old child, why not a fetus with arms and legs and a heartbeat? And FINGERNAILS! (Shameless Juno plug)

I have never heard a good report about an abortion. Every woman I've talked to about it regrets it. It is almost always traumatic for the patient to have a fetus stripped from them. Most numb it with substance abuse or push it down just far enough so that it doesn't hurt anymore. They wish they could forget. But they can't.

Maybe it's my bad for hearing stories from women who have been redeemed by Jesus; but I highly doubt anyone else's story is much different. If you know of one, please, I want to hear it.

I'll tell you right now I didn't vote in the last election. I didn't know much about the replubican candidate, but I do know that the stance that the democrats have on abortion does not sit well with me. And it never will.

You can say the words "pro-choice" all day but it remains the same that no woman should have the "right" to murder.

It's not murder? Then why is it that we declare someone dead when their HEART stops beating, but we don't count an unborn baby as a LIFE when their HEARTS begin to beat. I've read that a baby's heart begins to beat as early as 22-23 DAYS after conception. Some mothers don't even know they are pregnant by then! If it's not murder then why is a drunk driver charged with TWO counts of man-slaughter when he crashes into a car and kills a pregnant woman?

Since when is our government so concerned with privacy that they overlook something as terrible as abortion? Sounds fishy to me.


There have been approximately 45,951,133 abortions since 1973. Don't tell me women are choosing abortion because of rape, incest and health problems. Ain't that many health problems in the world. Here's a breakdown of reasons why women get abortions.
So PLEASE, STOP covering up the fact that what you really want to abort is the consequences of your behavior by calling it women's rights. Don't cover it up any longer.

You know what women's rights are?? Try not being able to VOTE. Try being treated as PROPERTY. Try being BOUGHT, and SOLD, and TRADED. Try being BANNED from your family and friends every month by being commanded to leave town while you menstruate. Try living in the 1800s where selling your body was the main profitable thing you could do as a woman. Try living in some countries in THIS DAY AND AGE where your husband can BEAT YOU DOWN IN THE STREET and be patted on the back. Try being banned from things that are easily handed to us like education. 


So, my fellow American women, those of you making six figures and those making $8.50/hr, the next time you want to come to me talking about some women's rights try to be thankful for the rights you already have. This is for the woman considering abortion. I beg of you. Consider something else. Consider your child. Consider yourself. This is for the woman who has had a pregnancy scare or two. Stop. If you aren't ready for the consequences, realize your worth and wait for a man that won't drive you to this dreadful option. It isn't worth it. The high emotional and physical cost of abortion is not worth keeping a man around who doesn't care about you. You're worth more than that. And whether you know it or not, this IS a PLANNED pregnancy. You didn't plan it; but God did. He is forming something great in your womb, precious woman. Don't abort the process.

Here's a poem I wrote a couple of years ago: I Was Almost a Mother.

No Scrubs: A Short Message on Your Value

I have a message for you ladies. This is from the heart, from the soul, and from the BIBLE.

YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN GOLD.

The word of the year, ladies, is VALUABLE.

Let’s look it up.

valuable |ˈvalyə(wə)bəl|

adjective

worth a great deal of money : a valuable antique.

• extremely useful or important : my time is valuable.

noun (usu. valuables)

a thing that is of great worth, esp. a small item of personal property : put all your valuables in the hotel safe

Valuable.

Have you ever felt that way?

Has anyone ever showed you how completely, perfectly, preciously VALUABLE you are?

Just the way you are?

You’re value does not come from ANYTHING ELSE but THE BLOOD OF JESUS. For you were NOT redeemed with silver or gold, BUT WITH THE PRECIOUS BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. THAT is in the Bible, 1 Peter 1:18, 19. I petition you: WHAT is of more VALUE than that???

So, no.

No, he cannot have your body without paying the price.

No, he cannot wine and dine you enough to get between your legs, get a job. Buy your own food.

NO, he will not put me seventh on his list of priorities. What? If I am no priority to you, then you CLEARLY are not prepared for this relationship. I would rather WAIT for God’s BEST for me than to constantly receive a negative message about my value because some man is too immature to prioritize me into his life.

Money isn’t everything, ladies. It is NOT where your value lies, but if YOU are spending most of money in the relationship…no ma’am. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. A REAL MAN will cheerfully invest in something that he plans on keeping. If men around the world spend thousands on renovating cars or building man caves then there is no reason you should be with someone who won’t spend a dime on you. You’re worth more than that sis. A courageous man would jump at any opportunity to show you your value.

A real man will also ADD value to you. If everyone you love and trust is constantly befuddled as to why you are even with him, then he may be depreciating your value instead of appreciating it.

I had a hard lesson in this, ladies. Especially considering the guy my sights were set on loved Jesus as well. When I would talk to my friends about it they would give me a confused look and be like OK. Only a couple of them actually had a rebuttal for me. And I had the nerve to defend him. I would consistently give excuses and harp on his ‘potential’ completely ignoring the right now.

Sisters, we are too valuable to date potential. Potential is great, pray for him, but we have got to stop missionary dating and BELIEVE who we are in Christ. This is not arrogance. And people might call us stuck up for having such high and abnormal standards, but boy will it be worth it!

I’ve posted the TLC classic No Scrubs to go along with this post. Howbeit a bit superficial, it has some truth to it. If a group of women who didn’t know Christ have some value about them, how much more should we as women of God.

WE ARE WORTH IT, LADIES! Never forget it. Never settle.

You can’t afford to pimp your anointing to someone who doesn’t know God like you do.

The Spirit of Unforgiveness: An Urgent Message

If you received Heather Lindsey's email last night then you heard the urgency in her voice as she warned us to stay alert against the attacks of the enemy. I felt the same urgency to let you sweet ladies know about the seriousness of unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is an open door to let Satan and his minions do work in you. I've seen more than one person under demonic oppression because of the root of unforgiveness. And let me tell you it ain't worth it!

You walk around on your high horse thinking you DESERVE to be bitter and you DESERVE to have this attitude and they DO NOT deserve your forgiveness. You justify it because of the horror of whatever happened to you. And most of you are right, it was horrible, some of you just need to MOVE ON but WE ALL NEED TO FORGIVE. You know why?

Because God says in His word that if we don't forgive then our Father in heaven will not forgive us.

Matthew 6:14,15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins.

That's pretty intense, huh, sis? Think about that. You don't want to forgive that person but you beg God for forgiveness daily? How can you worship God with a pure heart when you have the ugliness of unforgiveness and bitterness inside it?

Also in Colossians the Bible says we should forgive as our Heavenly Father has forgiven us. Isn't that what this is about? Becoming like Jesus? Jesus forgave. When people he loved hung him on the cross to die for their sins, he forgave.

Jesus died not only for the sins you commit but for the sins committed against you. They have already been paid for. Jesus took them on the cross. So, forgive. Release them.

Isaiah 53:4-6

Surely He took up OUR pain and bore OUR suffering, yet WE considered Him punished by God, stricken by Him, and afflicted. 

But He was pierced for OUR transgressions, He was crushed for OUR iniquities; the punishment that brought US peace was on Him, and by His wounds WE are healed.

WE ALL, like sheep, have gone astray, EACH OF US has turned to OUR own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us ALL.

My pastor said unforgiveness is like keeping someone in a cage and every now and then you take them out, beat them up, and put them back. But who is really in bondage here? The person who wronged you who is living their life or you who can’t move on because of your bitterness and anger?

Understand something, just because you forgive doesn’t mean what happened to you was ok. Because it probably wasn’t. That’s the fallen nature of man, the result of sin. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for you. YOU are the one in bondage. YOU are the one who isn’t being forgiven by Jesus because of the unforgiveness in your heart.

I feel like for some of you, once you forgive your anointing will be released. You’ve been praying and praying that God will show you your purpose, that He would give you direction for your future, but you cannot see clearly what amazing plans God has for you because of the way you have let unforgiveness rule your life and harden your heart. GET IT TOGETHER.

YOU ARE FORFITTING GOD’S PERFECT WILL FOR YOUR LIFE DUE TO UNFORGIVENESS. Now tell me again how you’re justified in your bitterness. Explain to me exactly how it is benefitting you to preserve your own life. The Word of God says if you seek to save your own life YOU WILL LOSE IT. And that’s what’s happening, sister. Unforgiveness is sucking the LIFE out of you and you are letting it.

Say it with me, LET IT GO.

Once you forgive you can finally receive healing from the Holy Spirit over the hurt that you have experienced. Forgiveness is only a part of the process, but it is the most vital part. You cannot be healed from your pain until you choose to forgive the people who caused it.

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. It is urgent. It is vital. Do not let another sunset pass before you lay your unforgiveness at the feet of Jesus.

Mother Hen

I have always loved kids. My whole life. I would always have somebody’s child on my hip as soon as I was big enough to carry one. My grandma always said I would end up with my own child on my hip as much as I had other people’s. It’s ingrained in us from birth to love, nurture and mother everyone we can. It’s a girl thing.

Being a mother is taught to us before we even speak! I don’t know any little girl who hasn’t owned at least one baby doll. I see my little friends as young as two carrying them around, some baby dolls bald and with no clothes, some dressed like princesses. There’s something in us from the beginning that longs to nurture and give love like only we can.

Unfortunately, for some of us, that desire has been thwarted or killed. Maybe when we were young. Maybe when we found out that our mothers weren’t all we thought they would be. Maybe when we offered our motherhood or our protection and it was rejected. Maybe when we were bombarded prematurely with too many motherly duties.

Maybe when we had our first abortion. Or second. Or third.

Somewhere along the way we lost it. Our desire to mother was wounded in battle.

Out of shame, out of angst or out of revenge, we have buried what is uniquely ours under years of rejection and pain.

So no wonder why when God calls us to disciple other women we shrink back. In light of this it makes total sense that it seemingly goes completely against our nature to have women over to our house for coffee and the Word. No wonder we can’t spend a good hour in a home full of women. No wonder it seems like the cat has our tongue when we are led to share wisdom with younger women. And it’s beginning to make sense that when all a young woman needs to do is cry on your shoulder you’d rather hide in a corner in the fetal position. (I think that last one was mostly me.)

Our motherhood has been wounded. The very thing that only we can do, the enemy has stolen from us and turned it into something marred and down right scary!

Not all of us are mothers, but we are all daughters, and we are all called to bear spiritual children. Some of us are called to bear spiritual children long before we bear natural children, but we are halted. We are frozen in fear at even the thought. Maybe you have natural children and you feel as if you’ve failed at that. Maybe you have been wounded by women and can’t stand to be in a room with more than three of them. Maybe the last time you led a group of women it went terribly wrong.

But whatever the case, God desires to heal you and to empower you to rise up as the spiritual mother that you are.

When Peter is talking to women about being modest he says something very interesting. He ends the passage that offends a lot of women with, “like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and DO NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR.”

Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid to protect God’s sheep. Don’t be afraid to jump into Mom Mode and pull your daughter’s out of the line of fire. PROTECT.

protect |prəˈtekt|

verb [ trans. ]

keep safe from harm or injury : he tried to protect Kelly from the attack

Don’t be afraid to protect even the women in your influence that intimidates you. Stick out your neck on someone else’s behalf for once. Awaken the fierce risk of protecting the ones you love no matter the cost. Sounds like someone we know. Maybe Jesus? Think about it.

Don’t be afraid to LOVE. Whew. I can’t elaborate on this enough! Why are you so fearful? Why are you so scared to offer your love and your heart to other women? Maybe because you did once and you were viciously betrayed. We women can be vicious, vindictive and down right MEAN. But, beloved, it’s time.

It’s time to forgive. It’s time to let go. Because LOVE holds no record of wrongs. You have to STOP writing off every woman you meet because of hurts from the past. It is crippling you. You think you are just protecting yourself. You think you are free because you “guard your heart” from being hurt, but no ma’am. You are not free. You are walking in chains. You will never be who God has called you to be as long as you reject every female you meet thinking you rejected them before they rejected you.

LIG. LET IT GO.

You’re in the BODY of Christ now! Not to say you will never get hurt again. But to say it is different. Because now you have Jesus who can heal you and take the punches. He died for their sins too. Jesus already died for that offense, for that backstabbing, for that shame. How can you fulfill the scriptures by discipling women if you can’t stand to be around them?! So what?! What are you going to do?! Disciple men?! HAH. Right. Great plan…NOT.

Don’t give way to fear. Love them. Love like Jesus does everyday. And remember 1 Corinthians 13. Step by step instructions on how to love with actions.

A leader told me this once. “The secret to loving and never getting hurt is to love with no expectations of getting it returned.”

Don’t love to be loved. Love because He first loved us.

And lastly, don’t be afraid to NURTURE. This one is hard for me. I’m extremely awkward in nurturing situations. I’m getting better, by God’s grace, but by no means am I THERE. If a girl starts crying, I’m out. Peace. I don’t know what to do so I want to hide.

But God says stop that. Offer yourself in tender care, loving with great mercy and gentleness. Let Jesus teach you to be soft, nurturing and to act with loving-kindness. He made of all those things, He IS all of those things. So, let’s learn together. Let’s learn how to give the truth in LOVE and with GENTLENESS.

nurture |ˈnər ch ər|

verb [ trans. ]

care for and encourage the growth or development of : figurative my father nurtured my love of art.

• cherish (a hope, belief, or ambition) : for a long time she had nurtured the dream of buying a shop

Care for the women in your life. Encourage their growth in Christ and do what you can to develop them in Christ Jesus. Look at Paul’s letters. See how he wrote to Timothy, his disciple. Pray the same things over the women you are called to pour into. INVEST in them. Invest your time, your money, your creativity, and your book collection, your WISDOM. Whatever you have, don’t be afraid to give. It goes a long way with someone who has never experienced Christ’s love.

Sit with Jesus. Ask Him to reveal to you the women He has appointed for you to pour into and lead in the ways of Him. Ask Him to reveal to you your hurts, aches and pains and invite Him there to heal your wounds. He’s show up. He WILL come for you.

And then, DO IT!!! Be the powerhouse MOTHER God has called you to be! Be the mother hen and protect, love and nurture your babies into beautiful women who will do the same.

Just so you know, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Thanks for reading my blog. God is totally faithful. And I pray that the wisdom He has given me will help somebody somewhere!

If you have any needs or prayer requests here is my email: ventura.ivory@gmail.com

The "E" Word

evangelism |iˈvanjəˌlizəm|nounthe spreading of the Christian gospel by public preaching or personal witness.• zealous advocacy of a cause.

You may or may not have heard this word often. You may have heard it from a pulpit or from across a table. You may have heard it on the street. I first heard this word on the college campus in a ministry meeting and for me this is a word that came with so much PRESSURE.

I've always been pumped about Jesus. Since the day I came to know Him, and especially since the day I was filled with the Holy Spirit, I've been advocating Him everywhere that I go. People must know that Jesus is the answer. After trying any and everything, I finally turned away from my sins and to the face of Jesus who was relentlessly pursuing me. And when my friends would come to me with their life issues, sometimes only when I was out of answers, but I would always lead them to Jesus. More boldly in recent years, but I always knew He was The Way. In the depths of me I knew and I needed to share.

However, I NEVER considered myself an "evangelist". I quickly learned that "evangelists" were those who were particularly zealous about telling everyone they meet about Jesus no matter where they are, what they are doing, or whose time they are on. I soon learned among the Christian circle that there are even TYPES of evangelists! I KNOW! News to me, too! There's street evangelists, campus evangelists, revival evangelists and I'm sure I'm missing several of them.

Most "evangelists" I knew were very LOUD, VERY long-winded, pretty arrogant, SUPER INTENSE people-people, kind of bossy, not very gentle, very good manipulators and not very detailed or empathetic. Therefore, when I felt like the Lord was drawing on my heart at a conference to rise up as an evangelist, you can imagine my hesitation, confusion and withdrawal.

I knew that if this is something that is the core of me God would have to do some serious renewing of my mind on the heavy weight that the title carried.

Not to mention, I always felt horrible because when we would go on these evangelism trips or have appointed times to go out two by two to preach on campus, I failed horribly at it. I crumbled under the pressure. It was so unnatural to me to be sort of forced to go out and preach to gospel to at least seven people. It STRESSED ME OUT.

But God has taught me some things over the past year.

Firstly, everyone would always say to me, "We're all evangelists!!! We are all called to share Jesus!" Now, it is true that we are all called to share Jesus. But it's a bit of a stretch to say we are all evangelists. The Bible speaks specifically of the five offices in a healthy church. (And He gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds ad the teachers to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for building up the body of Christ," Ephesians 4:11, 12) So we see here that though God has called us all to share Jesus, He has appointed some to hold the office, responsibility and high honor of equipping us to do so.

While I believe among us all there are plenty who carry a desire and a gift in any of these five areas, God has appointed some of us with a special grace to not only be these things, but to equip and train those who have strengths in these areas.

God broke this down to me, that we are all to share Jesus, but it comes more naturally to some of us and to those of us it is easier for, we should be evangelizing in conjunction with helping those who struggle with the pressure.

So, if it's hard for you to go out to your local Walmart and preach the gospel to strangers on the chip aisle, by all means realize that this is not the only way to share Jesus. Also realize that if God speaks to you to do something of that nature, trust Him, and take an evangelist with you! That's what the BODY is for! Lean and depend on one another. But do not feel condemned that brother so and so thrives in daring situations like leading someone to Christ on a roller coaster at your local theme park and you stumble over your words talking to an unbelieving coworker. Be you and share the love of Christ the way that God has called you to.

Secondly, God just broke the chains that were associated with the word evangelize. First He said to me, "Darling, it doesn't have to be so formal." Meaning, I don't have to gear up, put on a tool belt with my evangelism tools in it, go out and lay down Romans road to every person I meet. God has moved on my heart to live life with people and to understand that He fits in! Jesus made the whole world and all the people who are in it, so we don't have to feel awkward for bringing Him into the conversation. HE IS THE CONVERSATION! Be you. There will be challenges. But don't stray from being exactly who God made you to be and sharing His love and His truth according to the guidance of His Holy Spirit within you. Reach your Judea, the place and the people who are in your realm of influence.

Then he showed me that evangelism is no more than sharing  Him with the people in my life. That's why you read me saying "share Jesus" more often than saying "evangelize" because that word has a negative connotation now a days. Spread the good news, man. Make disciples. It's not something to stress about. Be free of the pressure to record numbers and conversations and file reports. Just be you, let your light shine, and like a moth to a flame Jesus will draw them. It's in His word. Lift me up and I will draw all men!

And though some people thrive doing evangelism on the streets to the homeless, and some people have a heart to share Jesus on college campuses, the Lord did not deem these in the scripture as different types of evangelists. We are called to make disciples of all nations, no matter who, what, when, where or how. I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone some and see what the good Lord does.

Lastly, HAVE COURAGE.
We are not of those who shrink back. The righteous are as bold as lions. We often don't shrink back from loving people, as long as it's mushy love and not real biblical love, but it is important not to shrink back from sharing the truth as well. Not only in word but in deed. Don't shrink back from having integrity and have courage when faced when temptation. It goes a long, long way.

courage |ˈkərij; ˈkə-rij|nounthe ability to do something that frightens one : she called on all her courage to face the ordeal.• strength in the face of pain or grief : he fought his illness with great courage.